Nights in the clearing
by Kitiara81
Summary: "Edward, please stop it" I whimpered "Why should I? I know that you want me, I see it in your mind" He said as he smiled at me viciously. This wasn t what Jacob wanted, but maybe it s all what he can get. I just love the pairing E/J. Please read and review.
1. Hurt

**Everone knows that none of the characters is mine, they are just borrowed from Stephenie Meyer  
**

**I´m glad for every review  
**

**Nights in the clearing**

**Hurt**

Jacobs POV:

"Edward! Please, stop it!" I whimpered.

"Why should I? I know, what´s going on in your mind, you want me" he said as he smiled at me viciously. He pressed me against a rock in the middle of the clearing; I had no chance to defend myself, even if I had tried.

His hand on my hot body felt icy, I looked into his face – his beautiful, perfect face with these gorgeous black eyes and wished he would not be so cruel. I thought about kissing his wonderful lips…

"Do not even think about it, mutt" he shouted "I will never kiss you!"

While he pushed me against the rock, he tore my pants and penetrated in me without any tenderness. He fucked me hard, did not care about breaking several of my ribs – again. I wanted to scream, I wanted to stop him but finally I gave up and let him do, whatever he wanted – like I did it every fucking night.

"Good dog" he whispered

_Edward _was my only thought and he knew it. He recognized that some of my ribs and my left arm were broken, but why should he care? He never cared about me, whether I feel good, or even Okay. He thinks only on his own pleasure. Knowing what will happen next, I closed my eyes. His sharp teeth dug in my neck and this time I really started to cry out loud. It hurt more, than the other times and while I tried to calm down a bit I realized, that tears ran down my cheeks – he noticed as well and like it forced him to hurt me even more his teeth pierced deeper into my flesh. I felt his arousal and despite all the hurt, I still wanted to give him everything.

The last thing I thought was _Fine, at least I´m going to die in his arms_ then everything gets dark and I passed out.

When I awoke I was alone. It had to be early afternoon. God, I was unconscious for hours. My broken ribs are on their right place again and onto my neck I had a brand new mark – reminds me that I am his, now and forever. _Fucking imprint_

Why must he find out? Three month ago he saw it in my mind – only one little thought – and everything changed _Fucking mind reader_

Every night, he wanted me to come to "our clearing" and in the beginning, I really believed this will be perfect, only he and I, two people sharing something special. But it isn´t perfect

I´m drawn to him, I´m fallen for him, he is the one and only – my imprint. I tried hard to show him my love, to proof that it will be the best for him to be with me. That I will be whatever he wanted me to be. So, three month later I know exactly what he wants Sex and blood. He is not the gentleman Bella think he is. He is cruel and demonic – at least to me.

And what am I doing? _Love him_

I will fight it _You can´t_

I will never come back to this place _You will_

I will life without that freaking, glorious leech _Edward_

I ran back to La Push, and will stay there _foolish_

The first night without seeing him made me feel agony even when he hurts me again and again I`m destined to love him _again fucking imprint_ I tried to get things clear in my mind _go to him _I wrote down what I would tell him if he would talk to me – what he never will do and if, only to order me what to do or to insult me – it made me feel a little better.

The next day I went to the clearing and posted my message on one of the huge trees there. I phased and ran back home as fast as I could.

Never again, I promised myself _Liar_


	2. No one is waiting

**No one**** is**** waiting**

Edwards POV:

_Where is that damned mutt?_

He has previously never been late! Usually he is waiting here for my arrival. Maybe I shouldn´t let him lie here last night? _He is fine_ But finally I waited until I was sure he wakes up soon. _Why isn´t he here?_

Bella was furious because I wasn´t there when she woke up – usually I´m there every morning. So she thinks I still spend the night at her room, watching her sleep, like I have done month ago. Why are you lying? I told her, that I was on a hunting trip and that I needed more time than planned. _Damned dog_

I waited for hours until I went back to Bella's, I watched her sleeping which has always been a way to calm me down. Normally it was a pleasant feeling when she called out my name in her dreams and said things like "I love you"

But now, I tried to remind myself what´s so special to her.

First, her awesome scent, like vanilla and strawberries _The dogs is even more appetizing – no, no, no think about Bella_

Her beautiful, sparkling eyes _Those of the mutt glowing in a softer brown_

Her pink lips that always want to kiss me _Not nearly as seductive as Jacobs – Stop I told myself, he is only a mongrel, do not think about him, and do not call him by his first name!_

I looked back at Bella and was shocked, for the first time I felt nothing for her. Of course, I liked her, but what had happened to our eternal love? _Gone!_

My thoughts wandered to that special day three month ago, when I picked up Bella from the borderline I watched angrily as she cuddled that dog. When he saw me, he took an immediate step back from her – he usually held her closer when I am around. Neither he gave any comment about me being too early nor begged her to stay a little bit longer – like he had done every time before. I was really curious about what´s different today and then he looked in my eyes and I knew it. I could hear his thought loud and clearly _I want you so much, Edward_

He had turned and was gone without saying a word. I was confused.

On our way back to Bella's house I thought about this one thing I have heard in his mind. He cannot seriously think that way! Bella babbled about Jacobs strange behavior and told me that she is worried about him. I listened to her only with half an ear.

That night I caught him in the woods. He tried to fight me down but because he was imprinted on me, he couldn´t hurt me.

Seriously, I only wanted to talk to him, but he looked at me in a way that – I can´t describe it. For the first time I recognized his delicious scent _Had he always smelled like wood and earth and something sweet?_ "What the hell do you think about me?" I hissed at him.

He only kept on staring at me "You know it! You are the mind reader!" He allowed me to see what went on in his mind. It was incredible. I heard descriptions of pale skin, bronze hair, perfect body and all the time he thought about touching me, kissing and holding me in his arms. He was so excited with me standing next to him. _Want you Edward_

His scent was overwhelming. I couldn´t stand it – years of vegetarianism gone in a few moments! I never, really never wanted someone more than him in this moment. I wanted to feel him, I wanted to taste him – and I did.

Somehow I managed not to think about his feelings, his longings, I knew this wasn´t the way he wanted it, neither did I. _What´s wrong with me? How could I act like this? I have never felt so wicked before._ Only taking, no giving I told myself. I fucked him; I fed on him because I wanted to – never thought about consequences. Afterwards he wanted me still near, just holding him, maybe kiss him goodbye, he didn´t ask for more – but I couldn´t give it. I hated me for what I have just done _Never again_ "Come back here tomorrow night" I ordered and left the meadow where I caught him.

Why wasn´t he there last night? Bella woke up, we went to school, we had a "nice" day and evening and as soon as she fell asleep I slipped out of the window and made my way down to the little clearing in record time – hoping to find Jacob there.

I smelled him, but he was no longer here. I found his message pinned on one of the trees and cried out in pure anger when I finished reading his "love letter" _I´m such an asshole_

Dear Edward,

You know, how I feel about you, how much I love you. You know, I would do everything for you – but I found out, I can`t.

Last night, you nearly killed me and I´m sure, even if you did it, you wouldn´t care. No matter what I do, I mean nothing to you, only good enough for being used as a sex toy or some kind of midnight snack.

Don´t get me wrong, I will ever love you, but I can´t take this no more, I just can´t.

See, I dreamed about you and me together – laughing, cuddling, kissing, loving each other, but as said it was just a dream.

Writing this letter was the hardest decision I´ve ever made in my life but there is no way to say this to your face. I think without you live will be lonely and never joyful again, but perhaps a sad life is better than death.

I wish the best for Bella and you and hope you´ll have a grateful eternity. I´ll never bother you again.

Still love you

Jacob

He means nothing to me? Right, he is just a dog _Wrong, he is everything_

I do not care about him? Every time I´ve gone too far I´ve been waiting for that he wakes up. _You´ve kept it secret_

Did I really hurt him so much? _You knew all the time_

I have to talk to him! _How?_

Bella!

I headed back to Bella, finding her still asleep.

I tried to convince me that I don´t need the mutt, that I´m doing fine without him and furthermore he will come back sooner or later! _I hope sooner_


	3. Need to talk

**Need to talk**

Bellas POV:

What´s up with my boyfriend and my best friend? Both of them are not themselves and that at least since two weeks.

On one side, there is my perfect, beloved vampire. Edward tries hard to act like he is already normal, but to tell the truth, he isn´t such a good actor this time. There are moments when he seems to be miles away, dreaming about something I did not know. The only thing I´m sure about is, he isn´t thinking of me in this times. I could feel that something is completely wrong.

I wondered what had happened, but I can´t find out. He is as gentle as ever, spend his time with me – everything as usual, but he doesn´t touch or kiss me the way he had done any longer. Sure, I could kiss him but mostly he doesn´t reply the kiss, it is weird. One day he keeps distance and the other day he pulled me tight. I can´t figure it out but it is very strange.

On the other hand, there is my best friend, my wolf, my personal sun, my Jacob. His behavior changed into freaky month ago and I have still not found the clue what happened.

First I visited him twice a week down in La Push, like I have always done, but since he doesn´t come to my house anymore I started to meet him three or four times a week in the reservation. We hang out in the garage or drive with our motor cycles but he is no longer the shining sun. We switched our parts – now it´s me trying to make him smile again – but to be honest, not often successful. _Men are so hard to understand, never say anything about feelings and then wonder why they are misunderstood_ Maybe he is still annoyed that I´m with Edward, but this couldn´t be the only reason for his change. One day I will find out and I´ll help him getting through this, I promised to myself.

Another cloudy morning in wonderful Forks, I´m glad that it´s Saturday, which means no school today. I´ve planned to go to La Push to have a late breakfast with Jake. Maybe, for him it will be his second meal, but I think that will be okay, actually Jacob is always hungry.

Edward glanced at me "Bella" he asked "You´re going to the reservation, aren´t you?" _Oh no, not again_ I thought

"That´s the plan! So don´t try to stop …" he interrupted me

"I don´t want to stop you. I just wanted to ask you, to do me a favor"

I raised an eyebrow "Sure, so what is it?" _Good, no argue today_

"Could you ask your dogfriend _Jacob _if we can meet? I have to talk to him"

"What´s the matter?" I asked curiously

"Oh, just a vampire-werewolf-thing" he answered quickly and put a little kiss on my forehead.

"Fine. Where and when will you meet him?"

"His choice" he announced. This time he held me close, kissing me again, his fingers playing with my hair. As said, just weird

I arrived at Jakes early and expected to find him still asleep, but to my surprise he was already u. He looked like he hadn´t slept at all, more as if he had cried all night long. "Jake, what´s up?" I asked. I wrapped my arm around him for a friendly, comforting hug.

Jacobs POV:

_His scent_ It´s driving me crazy. I pulled Bella nearer, closed my eyes and imagined it is him I´m holding. "Everything is just fine" I mumbled and smiled at her "Let´s have breakfast, I have not eaten yet"

It was arousing to have his scent lingering all around our little kitchen. While making sandwiches Bella told me about her conversation with Edward and asked me to meet him. My thoughts were running. _He sent her to get me back. He´ll kill me. His perfume all around, he did it on purpose_ "Tell him no" I shouted _Yes, Yes Yes_

She looked at me a bit puzzled "C´mon Jack, he only wants to talk!" _If you only knew_

"Still no" I yelled _I want him_

The rest of the day I was arguing with myself whether to meet him or not. So Bella hadn´t a very interesting Saturday with me and she decided to leave early. I hugged her goodbye. But to be honest I wanted to get intoxicated by his scent once more. I took a deep breath and my resistance was broken "Tell your leech, I agree. I´ll meet him at the borderline at 11 p.m."

She smiled her sweetest smile for me, get in her truck and drove home to tell him my words. _I´m going to be killed – thanks Bella_

Edwards POV:

I watched her coming back; she smiled when she found me sitting on her doorstep I grinned back, but only to lease her. She stepped out of her car and we met halfway to the house. _His scent_ I hugged her and kissed her forehead, I felt him so near. I ended the hug because I needed to know what he had answered. "What did he say?" Deep in my heart I was sure he said – no way, but I still hoped

"Let me just go inside at first" she noted "I really need a shower before talking. It was damned hot in the garage and I am pretty sweaty" I started to panic; I wanted to enjoy his marvelous scent around me only a little bit longer. I caught her hand and pulled her to me again "Please Bella, has he agreed?" I almost pleaded her to tell me that he said yes.

She nodded "First he freaked out and shouted at me, but finally he´d agree to meet you at the borderline at 11 p.m." I could have been dancing around for joy, but in front of Bella? No way to show my mood. I kissed her again and whispered "Thank you Bella" she deepened the kiss but I broke it "You smell like a wet dog" I joked. _That´s not lie_ She flinched and ran rapidly into her bathroom to wash away this delicious odor.


	4. Night one

**I do not really like this chapter, but I didn´t know how to write it anotherway. I hope it is not too confusing with the changing Point of few between Jack and Edward  
**

**Night one**

We both were early I smiled at him _Jacob _

"What do you want, leech?" he hissed Leech? _He never called me a leech since the imprint_ "Only talk to you Jacob!"

_Jacob? He never called me by name, it was always dog or mutt_ "Ok, speak! But don´t try to read my mind" I´ve been scared he will know what I feel and use it against me. He still smiled _How incredible_

I wanted to know him, but this time I won't do it the wrong way "I´ll promise" We looked at each other, don´t know what to do next. "Do you mind coming over here?" I asked politely. He stared at me and his eyes became hard. _I did it wrong_

"No way! I´ll stay at my side, you damned bloodsucker. I´m not that foolish!" _Edward, I want to be with you _He nodded and sat down on his side.

I didn´t know where to start. I´ve never thought about how hard this conversation will be. "Jacob, I want to apologize _He´ll never forgive you_ I beg you to forgive me!"

_He is begging? Why?_ "I can´t pretend as if nothing had happened Edward, you've hurt me too much." _You´re forgiven, everything is forgiven_

_So back to call me Edward may be a good sign_ "Understand! I read your letter" I began not knowing how to go on. "It isn´t true!" I looked at him, wanted him to understand what I mean, but he only looked more confused "I do care! I know what I have done to you. What I made you going through and that I´ve done horrible wrong. But I do care."

I raised an eyebrow "You care about me?" I yelled, "you sucked the life out of me and let me lie there so I could die!" My body was trembling. He looked at me with his incredible eyes, still pleading.

"I haven´t. I was scared. If you really had died that night, I would have gone strictly to your pack, told them everything and get my deserved punishment. Honestly, I stayed until you were almost awake" If I could I have started to cry right now, every word I´ve said was true. Jacob looked at me in disbelief. It was really hard, not to read his mind.

"You planned to let them kill you?" I shook my head "Why should you even think about this?" _He loves you_

How to tell him that I can´t imagine living without him. That I want him and need him badly. I couldn´t tell him things, that I just realized for myself _Do I love him?_ I stood up "I´ll have to go now" I whispered

"Edward – will you come back tomorrow?

I nodded and headed home. I couldn´t go to visit Bella right now and worst I didn´t know if I still wanted to see her at all; if I still love her. All I wanted was to see him again even if I don´t know how to answer his question, Why can´t I just call to say him what I feel for him? _Do it_ It is impossible to go for a visit to the reservation _Damned treaty_ Time was creeping. I didn´t put up Bella for school, nor go to school at least. I only waited that time will pass by to see Jacob _My Jacob_ again

**This was a short one, and as said, I think it´s not really good. The next one will be better. I promise**


	5. Night two

**Night two**

Edwards POV:

„Hi Jacob, nice to see you "I greeted and smiled shy at him. He grinned back _So cute_ He sat down a bit nearer to the borderline and looked at me in surprise.

"I didn´t thought that you´ll come here again, after your escape yesterday" he noted.

"I told you I will come. Do you mind coming over here tonight?" I asked. Again his eyes went cold "No way" he replied "I don´t want you so near!" _I want to touch you_ "You don´t need to tell me about your destroying plan if you don´t want to" he told me. I smiled sadly at him, he still won´t me feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh Jacob, I will tell you as soon as I understand it by myself. I really want us, to work up all this shit happened, so I think, we should start at the beginning.

"Imprinting on you?" he examined

Now it was my time to look frustrated. I shook my head and watched his confusion growing when I finally said "No, the day, I saw you for the first time!" I was unsure how to tell him the whole story, but I saw no other way to make him understand – even if I don´t understand it by now.

He wondered "What happened? I do not even know when we first met, but I guess it was at Bellas, right?"

Bella - I haven´t thought about her at all. I´ll have to end this. "Would you let me speak without asking me any questions or interrupting me in another way until I´m done?" I was quite sure, that if he interrupts me, I couldn´t continue. To my astonishment he smiled at me with this gorgeous little smile that I loved the most and nodded "Promise" he said.

I took a deep unnecessary breath and started "when I saw you for the very first time – your right, it was at Bellas – I was shocked. From the first moment I knew right away that you are a shape shifter, even if you didn´t know it at this time. I saw your bright eyes, your sunny smiling and your thoughts were all so clear and innocent. As you looked at me, you still smiled – if it were possible I would have blushed. I mumbled a short apology and ran out the house to get my mind clear again. Never before, I felt attracted by a man, and worst you're not a normal guy, you are a shifter, the futures alpha! How can I think about you in such a way? You´re determined to hate me, to destroy those of my kind and not to have feelings for someone like me!"

While I spoke I watched him carefully, I waited for a sign to stop me telling him my story. But he still sat on the floor with closed eyes and kept on listening.

"I told myself to not even think about you anymore but you´re Bellas best buddy so I never quit get away without hurting her feelings. I didn´t try to discourage her visiting you because you´re dangerous, like I told her. I also wasn´t afraid of losing her, like you maybe thought. I did it because of your smell that clung on her every time she got home from La Push. I wouldn´t smell it!" I stopped and after a few seconds Jacobs eyes fluttered and he glanced at me with burning eyes.

"Oh fucking leech, you are such a liar!" he spat out "Do you really think I would belief this shit? Why would you treat me like crap if you have ever liked me? What the hell happened to change your mind? Why do you hate me instead?"

"Ha" I laughed bitterly "because you started hating me. From the moment you discovered your wolf side, there were no more friendly thoughts in your mind only hate and pictures of rib and kill me and my family. The idea of hurting me, to snap me into pieces, you liked that thought. How could I manage to be around you, when those pictures are torturing me? I couldn´t. I was absolutely sure, that you´ll never reply my feelings, so I did my best to reciprocate yours.

I tried hard to hate you, not because you are a wolf, not because you want my girlfriend and even not because you hurt me that bad. The only reason to hate you was because I hated me for being so obsessed about you and I wanted it to stop. I thought, maybe it would be easier to bear your hate, if I hate you too.

Jacob was disordered; he remembered how he felt before imprinting on me. He blushed and phased into his wolf form before I had the chance to go on. He quickly raced away, but I heard him thinking about tomorrow _My time_ he thought.

Waiting again a whole day to see him was a dreadful view. In the morning time I went to Bella to take her to school and was surprised when I found one of the wolves waiting for her, his name is Paul I guess. I smiled and moved backwards into the forest in absolute silence. I didn´t want to disturb them. If the wolfboy will make a good job, she will soon fall in love with him. _Imprints are really a good thing - sometimes_

**Next time you´ll see Jaobs side_  
_**


	6. Night three

**This one is Jacobs side of the story, but it was easier to write it from Edwards Point of view. I really lieked writing this, so I hope you´ll enjoy it  
**

**Night three**

Edwards POV:

I was not sure, if I really wanted to know, what Jacob would tell me the next night, but I was unquestionably sure that I needed to know. This time I was first in the clearing and had come close to fear, what if he had decided not to come back? What if he didn´t want to see me any longer? Lost in my thoughts I had not realized his arrival, so I was startled when he cleared his throat, laughing at me while he saw my confusion. "Before you´ll ask! I stay at my side" he grinned.

I nodded and he started to smirk. "So Edward, are you ready to see my side? He inquired. I nodded again "I think I am!"

"Ok" he took a deep breath "For this one and only night you have the permission to read my mind. I beg you to do it, because it´s easier for me to show it to you, then to speak it out aloud."

The next moment the world shifted as his memories began to overwhelm me.

_What I wanted_, he thought.

My face, sparkling in the sunlight, a little smile on my lips while he put tiny kisses on my cheeks, my forehead, and my nose. I pulling him nearer to kiss his lips, my eyes full of love never lost his face.

We, splashing around in the flat water at the beach of La Push, squeaking and chuckling all the time.

We, walking down a street in Paris, hand in hand, earning quick side views from the people we passed by. We entered a noble French restaurant, take our seats. The table is decorated with flowers and candles and he smiled brightly.

We, just hanging out in his garage, he shows me his VW Rabbit and grinned all the time. His face and cloth full of dust and motor oil. I smiled happily when he ran his dirty fingers through my hair.

We, in a big bed, holding each other as close as possible, gentle hands touching me everywhere, our bodies rub against each other. Kisses full of excitement, quiet moans, tongues wrestling and with a last movement we both get over the edge. We rested, still as near as imaginable.

We, in our garden. A lot of people all in formal dress and we standing in front of them. The girls wear elegant dresses, the boys wear tuxedos. Both of our families watching us, the look like they have gotten friends or more like one family now. I looked at my mate, took his hand in mine, put a small silver ring on his ring finger and spoke my "I will!"

It was amazing to see through his eyes, to feel his feelings, share something so special. I wanted him to go on with this fantastic showing, further I wanted all this to be real!

"And now" he broke the silence "see what I got!"

Again I sank back in his memories, but this time it was a nightmare.

I, while I embrace Bella; I looked him in the eyes and whispered in her ear that I will always love her, than I kissed her.

I, glaring at him with blood red eyes and a demonic smile on my lips. He, on the floor right in front of me. With one foot I pushed him to the ground while I stated "Poor dog, now I have to discipline you, I´ve told you not to cry!". My kick hit his hips and he gasps in pain.

He, as he looked at me frantically when I pressed him down to do a fucking blowjob

I, pinning him against a tree, taking him hard. He cried and begged me to stop but I still broke his bones in my rage.

I, an evil grin on my lips. One hand in his hair, pulling him to me and stare at him "I will never kiss you, mutt!"

I, opening my mouth, sunk my fangs into his neck. His eyes full of pain, tears on his cheeks, and me biting even harder, his eyes widened with agony before he collapsed.

And then, nothing! Everything is gone black. I tried to leave his mind but I couldn´t stop the feelings he sent me. Hurt, desperation, unbelievable pain and my venom burning in his whole body.

At least, even through all this he let me feel his love, his forgiveness; he opened his heart completely for me.

Then it was over, my thoughts get blank and I was able to step back in reality.

"Now you know! Please, no sorry, not now, just think about what you´ve done to me. If you still want, come back tomorrow" he said and left me alone with his memories. I fell on the ground, wincing and writhing with his pain still inside of me.

**Please tell me, did you like it?**


	7. Night four

**Night four**

Jacobs POV:

I wondered if he´ll come back after I made him go through my pain. There was no other way to let him know exactly how I feel and how much he hurt me. I wanted him to understand, that even through the worst he did, I still love him anyway. I wanted him to know, what an imprint really means – pure love!

_Please Edward, come!_

He arrived the line and sat down with a sad smile _I made him sad_ "Edward, I´m sorry, I wouldn´t blame you. It´s okay. I have exaggerated. I didn´t want to make you feel bad" I apologized. He glared at me and shook his head _What have I done?_

Edwards POV:

_I don´t understand him_

"Jack, haven´t you still not noticed that I am the bad guy here? You haven´t done anything wrong, your perfect, there is nothing for you to be sorry about!"

I wanted to read his mind again, I needed to know what he thinks but this was impossible. First of all, he haven´t allowed me to do it and second, even if I would try, he had built a strong protective shield to hide his thoughts from his pack and from me.

He looked a little muddled, knowing that I´m right but still attempting to be pleasant and make me feel good. "Jack I thought about you the whole freaking, never-ending day and there is one thing I don´t understand. Why didn´t you leave me earlier? I know, you're imprinted on me, but is there really no way to break this?"

I peeked at him unsure how to continue, he stared into my face with panic in his eyes "There is a way" he whispered "but I never wanted to end the imprint" _If this is an option, he should take it _"I know you love me Jacob, but with all the pain I caused you, you should rather hate me. It will be better for you to be free of the imprint" I said slowly.

Now he really freaked out, even if he tried not to show it at all, he looked desperately when he asked "So you want me to end things up?"

"Maybe it is the best…" he missed the "…but I won´t" part. He shifted and disappeared before I had the opportunity to finish the sentence. _Stupid dog_

Jacobs POV:

Undo the bond between us is maybe best for him, but it is surly not best for me! Didn´t I gave him enough? What have I done wrong? Why doesn´t he want me anymore? He wants me to stop the imprint, then I´ll do – but first I wanted to see my family, my pack one last time. At least, only one more day with them.

**Sorry, I had less time to write. Even if this chapter is very short, please review!**


	8. Next day

**Next day**

Jacobs POV:

I had my breakfast with my dad and the pack in our little kitchen – I laughed at their jokes and ate delicious pancakes, I almost had fun with them. Paul told my about his imprint on Bella and everyone was waiting for me to freak out; they thought I would be angry, but I know how it feels when the whole world is spinning around the one person that fate has chosen. Even when this knowledge is well hidden in the deepest edge of my mind. They will never know anything about my imprint.

The boys were amazed when I put an arm around Pauls' shoulder, wished him all the best and asked him to take care of Bella. _Could I leave without seeing her once more?_ I smiled at my family "I guess I have to visit Bella now to congratulate her on this great imprint. I wonder if she will tell me about it!" My friend laughed when I left to see her for the last time. I was really glad, that at least my pack has no longer to suffer under my mood swings.

Same Time Edwards POV:

On the eleventh time my phone rang I decided to pick it up, just to stop this annoying ringing. "What´s up Alice" I greeted. I didn´t want to talk to her right now, there was still too much to think about.

"Edward, I see your future" she noted

I didn´t see what the problem was, so I questioned "Why shouldn´t you see it?"

She moaned "I couldn't see it over the last month, I mean I couldn´t see the wolves and when you´re with Jacob I didn´t see you as well. Don´t worry, I didn´t tell it anyone, not even Jasper know about it. I expected you to tell them by yourself what´s between the both of you!"

I felt like crying. "Good" I replied. _Unbounded – no Jacob – no love – all alone_

"Good? You're kidding! Your future seems anything else but good. Just running around, no family and you looked all so guilty. What the hell have you done, Ed?"

"I have sent him away to break the imprint!" I mumbled "Your idiotic, foolish dump. Are you really that blind? Even I know that only death would end an imprint!" she cried out.

I dropped my phone and started to run. Never mind that the treaty will be broken if I´ll cross the invisible line. _I have to rescue him!_

When I arrived at his home his pack-brothers rushed out of the house, glaring at me, ready to fight. Jacob wasn´t with them "Where is Jake?" I cried out, I fell on my knees and hoped still he would be inside.

"You have broken the contract to ask where Jake is?" Sam wondered

"Please, just tell me where he is. I need to find him!" I begged. They all looked at me puzzled not sure whether they should help me with this or to kill me instead. But then, Seth, the youngest of the boys smirked at me when he said "He is gone to visit Bella"

I wanted to start running right to her house, but the wolves' didn´t let me go. "Honestly, why would you know it?" Sam questioned again.

I took a deep breath "He beliefs that I want him to stop his imprint on me „A similar shriek escaped the wolves' mouth. They all had recognized that something was wrong with Jacob, that he was hiding something. His unusual behavior. That he was always sad and tiered and from time to time he whimpered when the pain was to strong. Now they understand everything.

They all, phased immediately and Sam shouted out "Split up, search Jake, find him and bring him back home!" All of them headed in different directions screaming out his name in their minds,

Paul and I hurried up to the Swans house, hoping that he would still be there, but he wasn´t. Bella told us, that he had left her an hour ago, she broke down when Paul told her what had just happened. I left him to calm her down and turned back to the woods. Then I heard it, Jacobs's voice in the wolfs heads, he added in Alpha tone: "The contract is unbroken. No one is to harm. This is only my decision. The Cullen's should be protected like our families!" Now I knew where to find him and I rushed the way to my own home.

Jacobs POV:

I visited Bella to tell her my congratulations on her great imprint and that I´m glad for her, because Paul is a really good guy. She blushed and stuttered something about Edward but I wouldn´t hear it. I hugged her, murmured "sorry" and left quickly.

I have thought about the best way to kill myself – I really did, but to tell the truth the best thing to kill a wolf is a vampire and the only vampires in this area are the Cullens. So I turned to their house. I was sure Edward won´t be there and I hoped to find the big one there, or maybe Blondie, she always hated me. _Luck, if you want to call it that, was on my side_. Emmett was the only one in the house, and I bet, it will be easy to force him to fight me down. Maybe he´ll do it fast! I took a deep breath, sent my message to the pack and started. "Hey leech, come out, I have something to announce!" He stepped out the front door and glanced at me angrily "Leave our land!" he hissed. _That was easy_

I smiled evilly, "I will, but first I wanted you to know that I ripped up your blonde vampire girl" Please _belief_ me I got her on the border line, she pleaded for her live that was nice, but it was much more fun to let her loose her head!" _This was enough_.

Emmett took it for real and the next second he was in front of me. I was still smiling while I asked him "So you want to be next?"

"You're fucking mutt – you´re dead!" _Do not phase, do not fight, and do not defend your live_

After a few hard beats and kicks that send me to the ground, he grabbed me and threw me with such violence against the house wall that it collapsed partially. Pieces of stone fell on me, my whole body was screaming in pain. He picked me up from the ruins and clutched my neck to finish what he had started. I was almost glad, he was so distraught that he couldn´t think clearly and would kill me quickly instead of torturing me for long.

Edward cried, I didn´t understand his words, the ringing in my head was too loud. Emmett let me drop once again. _Free_

**Evil?**

** Nevertheless, I hope you liked it! Reviews are still welcome_  
_**


	9. Please don t leave me

**Please don´t leave me**

Edwards POV:

I found him in front of our house, fighting with my brother – but no, that wasn´t a fight, Jacob did nothing at all. He was even in his human form and let Emmett kill him without defense. I screamed in horror "Emmett, don´t! Rose is fine! He lied! He just wanted you to kill him!" "I can fulfill his wish" he hissed and pulled Jack up again, now to break his neck "Em please – I love him!" I pleaded. My brother stands there frozen, his mouth fell open and he lost his grip on Jacob.

He fell hard on the ground with no one holding him on his feet any longer- I heard something brake, I kneeled down at his side with tears in my eyes "Jack, you hear me?" No response

"Please, don´t leave me" Still no response

Then I saw the blood on the floor, he was bleeding in several places, but the worst injury I have not seen immediately. At the back of his head, there was a large wound; the skull bone was broken by the bricks on which he had landed. I couldn´t hear his heartbeat any longer.

**I´m bad, I know**


	10. Waiting

**Waiting**

Edwards POV:

I couldn´t hear his heartbeat any longer!

One of the wolves helped me resuscitate Jake and we got his heart to a restart.

We put Jacob into my room, rested him on my bed and waited for Carlisles arrival. He carefully examined my beloved imprint then he looked at me with a worried glance "I can still not say something precise. Definitely, some of his bones have grown too fast and wrong together. We have to break them again and set them in the right place, so they can heal properly. Unfortunately we have to wait until his heartbeat is back to its normal rate if we don´t want to risk anything. Rather I care for his head injury. Edward, I will tell you the truth, I do not know if he will recover from this or if his brain is seriously injured. We can now only hope and wait. I´m so sorry son" he said softly

"I am sure he will make it! He won´t leave me!" I announced

I sat on my bed close to my wolf _He will survive!_ There I stayed, I didn´t leave him alone for a moment, I wouldn´t have brought it upon me to leave. My family and his pack were coming and going; only Emmett stayed away. He deeply regretted what he had done and he was afraid that he may be destroyed our family, I didn´t blame him. It would be only my fault if Jacob dies. _But that will not happen, he has to life!_ So I continued waiting for him to awake.

On the third day Alice entered our room with a bright smile on her face. _How could she be so happy? _ "Ed" she smiled even wider "your future is just disappeared. All I can see now is a foggy picture of you, smiling when you gaze on a little something on your ring finger." She hugged me and danced out of the room while she whispered "Everything will be fine, he will wake up soon. It´s better to leave you two alone my dear!"

I was still sitting next to him. With one hand I hold his; with the other one I gently touched his cheeks, his closed eyes, and his mouth. "Jake, please come back to me!" I whispered in his ear. His eyes began to flatter and slowly he opened them and glanced at me. I could hear my name in his mind. I smiled shyly at him and at that moment I knew for sure, everything will be fine now.

"Jake, I´m so glad you´re finally awake! I was so worried about you! How could you stupid dog think that I want you to leave? I never wanted. I want to be with you. In finally got it – I love you!"

"I love you too" he replied _Should I kiss him?_

"This would be perfect" he said softly

I was surprised "What would be perfect" I asked curiously

Jacob looked at me astonished _Have I just imagined that he wants to kiss me?_

"No you haven't but I have said no word about it, I only thought about kissing you" _I want to kiss you, and hold you and be with you forever – if you still want me. You´ve heard this?_

He nodded slowly "I heard it" he smiled happily "I guess, now I am a mind reader too" he noted.

"We need to figure that out" I decided "but first I want to kiss you" and so I leant forward and kissed his lips shy and cautious _I want you_ Jacob pulled me nearer, doesn´t pay any attention on his injuries _I want you so much_ and opened his lips to welcome me. He deepened the kiss and all I was able to think about was he. Under my touch, Jake got goose bumps, I do not know whether from our temperature difference or of excitement – but I know I was excited.

Our first kiss was more than perfect, the way it should be from the very beginning; soft, demanding, thrilling and full of love. When the kiss ended – Jake finally had to breathe at some time – I could still feel his heat in my mouth.

_Is this what you wanted Jacob Black?_ I thought

He grinned at me "Exactly what I wanted" and he pulled me back in for another deep, breathtaking, amazing, miraculous kiss.

**That´s it. I hope you enjoyed my first story, because I think this is a good point to end it, or do you think I should go on? Please tell me Greetings Kitty**

**Thanks for all reviewers! Special thanks to rat3000 you inspired me to kick someones ass  
**


	11. Mindreading for beginners

**The alternativ end is outsourced now!  
**

**I decided to go on with this story, right now I don´t know where it will lead but we´ll see.  
**

**I still don´t own any of the characters in here.  
**

**Mindreading for beginners **

Edwards POV:

„They can hear us. It won´t be long until they will come to see you" I said while I put kisses all over his face and inhaled his scent. _Mmmmh, it still smelled delicious_, but something had changed. I sniffed again, a sweet aroma of flowers? _No, it´s more like honey I decided._

"Do you want to taste me?" Jake asked in a low voice. I was puzzled, I haven´t realized that I´ve stopped kissing him, my mouth only inches from his throat. "I – I won´t – it´s just" I stuttered but he didn´t seem to be afraid or angry when he interrupted me.

"It´s okay love, don´t worry, I was only teasing" he put a tiny kiss on my nose and chuckled still when he looked at the door. "They are coming"

I heard them too; they stood just outside the door wondering if they should come in. We became quiet and listened to their conversation "We shouldn't bother them" Esme whispered "he is just awake. Don´t you think they need time alone?" Seth agreed but Alice didn´t care of their opinion opened the door and glided into our room.

The others slowly follow. Alice smiled wide when she looked at us "See dear brother, I´ve told you everything will turn out perfect." She hugged us both. Seth also stepped forward to embrace Jacob "Good to see you again Jake, I missed you"

Esme watched us carefully "How do you feel Jacob? Right now you don´t look very well do you still feel pain?"

I looked at the boy next to me, Esme was right, I noticed alarmed "What is it honey?" "Nothing" he whispered "maybe I´m still too tiered for so many visitors at once" His mental voice screamed in desperation _How could you bear this Ed? It´s so loud! All the voices!_

I´ve forgot his new ability, it´s natural that he has problems with too many different voices in his head. "Would you please leave now?" I pleaded.

Esme shooed Alice, Jasper and Rose away "I´ll send Carlisle to you as soon he´s home again" she said and followed the others after touching my cheek for a brief moment. Sam and Seth followed them immediately after they looked at Jake´s pale face once more.

The moment the door closed behind them Jacob buried his face on my chest and started crying. I held him close and stroke along his spine to help him through the overwhelming emotions.

Jacobs POV:

_It was too much at once, I couldn´t bear it. They were all so worried about me, even Blondie was sad because of me. I don´t understand it at all. I used her boyfriend to kill me – lucky Edward stopped him and nevertheless she cared about my health._

_Esme thought about the two of us. She wanted her son and me to be happy and she was so sorry about the problems we had before. She was afraid that I won´t be the same after awaking, or that I´ll never get completely healthy again. Even when she saw me doing well she can´t stop thinking that way._

_Sam was still shocked that I have planned to kill myself because of Edward. He blamed himself because he haven´t recognized what happened with me, that I had serious problems with the whole imprinting stuff. _

_I couldn´t concentrate on single thoughts very well, my mind was overfilled with their thoughts, there wasn´t enough space to think for myself. It was crazy. I just wanted to be alone, I wouldn´t hear all the voices in my head any longer._

I realized Esme was talking to me; it was hard to focus on her words. I lied to her, I told her I was only exhausted but in my mind I screamed. I was glad that Ed has sent them away.

When they have left I started to whine; all the words I have heard in their minds, they won´t get out of my head. Edward tried to comfort me, but right then there was nothing he could do. It took some time but slowly I calmed down a bit.

"I think I don´t like that mind reading thing." I muttered "I imagined it´s like reading a book when you did this. You open it read a bit in it and then closes it if you know what you wanted to know. Now I realized, I can´t close the book!"

"Oh, honey. I´m so sorry, I should have foreseen that it will be too much for you when they all visit you at once." He said "I hoped you can take it, since your wolf-connection is nearly the same."

I snuggled in his arms and let my head still rest on his chest "Will you help me to control it?" I asked.

He kissed my hair "Sure Jake, you´ll see it´s not too difficult to learn. You just have to focus on one and fade out the others until you´re used to your new ability." He answered quietly then he whispered "Carlisle is back. We should tell him what had happened I guess."

"Yeah, I think so too." The same moment he knocked on the door and Edward called the doctor in. _Maybe he´ll know what´s wrong with me._


	12. Kind of newborn

**Chapter 11 is replaced. The alternative finish is outsorced now and you´ll have to read the new 11th chapter before reading this!  
**

**Kind of newborn**

Edwards POV

When Carlisle stepped in our room Jake sat up and focused on my father, he gave me a side view and looked really puzzled I chuckled and thought _Have you ever heard of an earwig? He´s got one_

Now Jake grinned too, only Carlisle didn´t understand what´s so funny. He cleared his throat before he began to speak "I´m glad your finally back to convictions. How do you feel?"

Jacob just smiled "I feel perfect right now! But nevertheless could you examine me thoroughly? We have to figure something out and it would help to know if my body is working the right way" _Even if my mind isn´t_ he thought.

Carlisle watched him with growing confusion "Sure I wanted to make a few test anyway to see if everything has healed properly." _Why shouldn´t his body work the right way? It seems to be obvious that he´s fine. But then Esme told me he looked poorly only an hour ago. Mmh I´ll make a blood test just in case and maybe his…_ Carlisle started singing in his mind once more and Jake and I began to snigger again.

"Our cause for concern is not his body. Jake isn´t in pain anymore." I said when I managed to stop giggling

"That are good news!" my father replied "But what is the problem then?"

This time Jacob answered "Well, since I´m back to life something have changed. I hear voices in my mind" he grinned. _That´s evil honey, don´t tease him, look he´s scared now_. Jake nodded and went on "Edward wants me to be serious. So here is the truth. I really hear voices and see pictures but in the same way Edward does."

Carlisle was perplexed "You mean you can read in people's minds like my son? That´s odd, you're still human – or at least half-human. I never heard anything like this before!"

"We thought, maybe you´ll have an idea what had happened to him." I said hopeful

"Let me think about it! Has anything else changed Jacob, do you feel any differences?" he asked.

Jake shook his head but I nodded "Don´t you smell it Carlisle, his scent has changed, not much but it is unquestionably different now" _Even more delicious_

My father sniffed and nodded "I agree, I don´t know him like you do, but even I smell the sweet note that wasn´t there before. We should really make a blood-test Jacob; I hope you're not afraid of injections."

"No, I guess I´m used to sharp spikes piercing me. So why should I have problems with a tiny needle?" he grinned but in his mind he flashed back to the clearing where I tortured him for so many nights.

I wanted to hold his hand, to pull him near but I assumed this was absolutely not the right moment for even touching him.

While Carlisle went on with checking Jacobs health status I was focused on Jakes thoughts. He hadn´t realized how much he has shocked me. I wish I could change what I´ve done to him in the past, I was lost in thoughts and didn´t pay much attention to my father.

"Jake, another question: Are you hungry?"

_What a stupid thing to ask! The wolves are always hungry_ I thought and so I was irritated when my mate slowly shook his head and suggested "No, not really! But I´m very thirsty," now he glanced at me "Sweetheart could you give me the water bottle over there?"

I gave him the bottle and he emptied it in a moment, "Better?" I asked. He nodded and smiled "much better, even if I´m still thirsty my throat is a bit aching."

I shared a sorrowful glance with my father who shook his head "I´ve never heard of this before but there are some signs that you are a kind of newborn now. I´m not sure what that means for your future but I guess we´ll find out!"

_I am not! I am a wolf! I am an alpha! I am no damned leech!_ Jacob screamed in his mind. He jumped off the bed and rushed out of the room before I could stop him. I followed him when he left the house and run into the woods.

**I hope you liked it. **

**Please, please, please review**


	13. What am I?

**What am I?**

Jacobs POV:

My whole body was trembling when the doctor´s words sank into my mind. How could he even think on the option that I wasn´t an ordinary wolf any longer? I had to proof to myself that I was still able to shift, that I´m not one of them.

As fast as possible I left the room and ran into the forest, I phased immediately when I was out of sight. I was afraid that it wouldn´t work, but as always my body changed perfect into its wolf form.

I could hear Edward following me but I didn´t pay any attention to him, I was only focused on myself when I raced through the undergrowth. I enjoyed the speed, the wind that brushed my fur, the feeling of endless freedom; I stopped when I reached the cliffs and watched the sunset on the sea.

Edward soon joined me and sat down beside me he was agitated but so was I. "Do you feel better now, honey?" he asked

Using only my mental voice I stated "I_´m sorry Ed. I just needed to know. I mean if my inner wolf is there still, you see it is!"_ I smiled a wolfish smile for him while he curled the fur between my ears.

"_What does the doc mean when he said I´m a kind of newborn? I was so puzzled that I couldn´t ask him before!"_

"I also had no change to ask him any questions, I left right behind you. But I guess he meant that the change of your smell, your new gift, your long unconsciousness, your rejections to something to eat and your burning throat let him think about this possibility. He is also wondering where the scars on your neck came from, he doesn´t know yet that it was me who marked you"

I growled, I didn´t want to think about it. _"Look I´m here just in front of you and I´m a wolf. I can´t be a bloodsucker and a shifter, both together in one person. There must be something else!"_

With a sigh I stood up and glanced at my vampire "_I´m feeling better now, shall we go home?" _He nodded, stood up too und we headed back to the house. Someone was so friendly to put some clothes for me under a tree so I haven´t to cross the meadow naked. _These vampires can be really nice if they want to_

When I get closer to the house I heard them, not only their voices, the mix of their thought were really annoying, I wasn´t able to make one more step, I stand there frozen in front of the door.

I looked to Edward; searching for some support "Calm down Jake" he said in a low voice "just concentrate on me. You´ll see, it won´t take long and you´ll love your new found talent, trust me."

I grabbed his hand, took a deep breath and we went towards the voices. Carlisle had told them about my talent, his theory and my reaction on it. Neither the wolves nor the vampires seemed as concerned as I, I couldn´t understand why even Sam wasn´t worried about this news.

I did as Ed had told me and focused only on his mind, he sent calming words and pictures and I could also feel Jaspers mood-altering gift work. They helped me both through the confrontation with the many people in here.

Esme was the first that moved, she crossed the room and embraced me carefully "I cooked something for you" she said, smiling on me "Seth told me it´s your favorite. You like goulash – don´t you?" I nodded, "Sure, Esme. I do" I answered when we went to the kitchen.

The marvelous, mouthwatering scent let my stomach growl, I seemed to be very hungry I only haven´t recognized it first. There was just too much happened at once, the overwhelming new feature in my mind, our first kiss, Carlisles idea but right now I needed something to eat.

I glanced to Seth this was his favorite meal, not mine. I grinned, _maybe I can eat it all alone and he won´t get a bite of it. It tasted delicious, extraordinary how this woman could cook without tasting it._

While I ate, the voices in my head got lower the only one that was constantly in my mind was Edward and this didn´t bothering me. He was right, _I´ll learn to life with this new ability and I´ll learn it fast!_

When Carlisle joined us at the kitchen table I smirked at him "See doctor – I eat normal human food. So your theory is crap! I´m not a vampire, I´m still a wolf!" I stated

"Well, I guess we have to figure out what you are! We´ll talk about it later Jacob, first I wanted to speak with my son – alone." He went outside and Edward followed him quickly. _What the hell? _I was so consumed with eating that I wasn´t listening to Carlisles thoughts, so this was unexpected.

I needed someone else to focus on while Ed was gone and I choose Seth which happily ate his second plate of goulash. He was cheery, calm and simply lovey and so were his thoughts too.

I was tormented by curiosity but I was sure Edward would tell me everything of their conversation when he´s back – and if not I could still see it in his or Carlisles mind – _maybe mindreading isn´t as bad as I thought._


	14. Safety

Well-being

Jacobs POV:

I finished my meal and thanked Esme for her wonderful cooking then I left the kitchen and went back to Edwards's room. Without him it was too difficult to stay downstairs with the others for a long time.

I let myself drop on the bed, closed my eyes and waited for Edward to come back. It´s seemed like an eternity to me until I heard his steps when he hurried up the stairs to join me.

When he stepped in I thought I wanted nothing more than to know what he had done all the time, what Carlisle has wanted from him but then he sat down next to me, our eyes met and immediately something else was more important to me than my curiosity.

_I wanted him, and I wanted him right away!_

I clung to him but that wasn´t enough, there was far too much cloth between us, so I slipped out of my shirt and was glad that he did the same. When our bodies met again I could feel his cold skin getting warmer under my touch.

After a deep, passionate kiss I started to lick on his neck, his chest and on my way down I paused on his navel. I could feel his arousal, he wanted me just as much as I wanted him – I believed – but when I unbuttoned his Jeans to go on with kissing all parts of him he was immediately gone and stood on the other side of the room a moment later.

Edwards POV:

I have enjoyed what Jake was doing but then a short image flickered through his mind _– me when I was sinking my teeth into his neck_ – that was enough to remind me how thirsty I was and that stopped me.

His scent was still too overwhelming for me, I wasn´t able to guaranty for his safety_. As long as I must be afraid that I would lose control, that I couldn´t stop myself if we go too far, I couldn´t do this,_ _I didn´t wanted to hurt him again._

I was out the bed and across the room in a second. Jake blinked twice when he found himself in the bed alone, he was confused by my action but I had to protect him.

"What´s wrong Ed? I won´t upset you; I thought you wanted this too. So please tell me, what have I done?"

Even if he could read in my mind that I simply wouldn´t risk to hurt him he blamed himself, his mind was screaming

_Why doesn´t he want me?_

_What the hell have I done wrong this time?_

_I knew he´ll never love me!_

"No, no, no damn it Jake – don´t be stupid! Would you just listen to me! You´re the only one I´ll ever love you´re the most important person in the whole world to me and you already know that!" I shouted

He looked at me with still doubtful eyes and winced "But you won´t me touching you!"

I sighed "I´d love it, but right now I think it´s too dangerous for you to be so near, I could lose control – you know that happened before. I don´t want to bite you. Look, I just want you to be safe"

He gave me a bitter smile _You´ve lost control so many times until now_ "I don´t care of safety! I love you and I want you and honestly I don´t see the problem if you want to bite me - just do it!" he said

"Don´t be ridiculous! I´ve almost killed you the last time and I already know how it feels to lose you. I couldn´t life without you, so I won´t risk anything" I announced

"So your plan for our future doesn´t includes having sex? Never?" he moaned "That´s torture Ed!"

I smirked; he was so sweet in his nervousness

"No, never" I said, watched his startled expression and started giggling but underneath his now angry stare I added:

"Honey, when I said I won´t risk anything, I meant no sex when I´m thirsty like now, but if you want you can come with me on a little hunting trip and after I have drunken enough we´ll see what will happen!"

Jacob calmed down abruptly, glanced at me and nodded "That will be fun, let´s go!" he said and hopped out the window. Well he wasn´t thrilled because of the hunting part, but rather to the time afterwards! That thought was clear _Let´s get him a deer and then I could have him_


	15. Hunting

Hunting

Jacobs POV:

We raced deeper into the woods, Ed had told me that he wouldn´t hunt near the house, he wanted to get something else than a deer. It was fun to run through the forest and best thing was I could almost run as fast as he did. And I wasn´t with him as a wolf. _Maybe another new talent?_

Suddenly Edward stopped and I could hardly manage not to crash into him. He stared with his black eyes through the darkness, I looked in the same direction and it didn´t last long till I found out what had caught this attention.

A few yards away was a sneaking cougar who seems to be hunting as well, the cat was absolutely focused on his own kill so it hadn´t noticed that the wasn´t the hunter any longer – he has gotten the prey!

The cougar jumped and Edward dashed forward in the same moment, he caught the puma and sunk his teeth into the wriggling animal to drink his blood.

I couldn´t watch this any longer, I touched one of the scars on my neck and shuddered. It reminded me that he had treated me like this poor animal once. And worst of it, I was kind of jealous now. _How could he prefer this wildcat when he could have me?_ I was glad that he haven´t noticed my thoughts, momentary he was too consumed with his meal.

_No need to be jealous, afterwards he´ll be only interested in me – in a less painful way_

Edward haven´t finished yet, I could still hear the sucking sounds behind me and tried to distract me with something else.

Unexpectedly I smelled something completely unfamiliar, I sniffed and the smell was still there, it was fresh and sweet and a bit like cinnamon and vanilla, it was mouthwatering. I followed the overwhelming scent like I was hypnotized, there was simply no other way to go.

When the smell got more and more intensive and I knew I wasn´t far away from the cause of this delicious aroma Edward grabbed my hand and turned me so I had to look in his face.

His expression was blank "Honey, I think you won´t do that!" he said

I was mixed up "Do what?"

"Follow this scent. You wouldn´t like what you find!" he warned me

I sniffed again "But it smells so delightful" I sighed when I continued on my way. Ed didn´t try to stop me again, he didn´t release me but still held my hand as we walked.

When we reached a small hillock I finally understood what he had meant with: you wouldn´t like it. He was absolutely right.

I looked at the injured, unconscious man in front of us, he wasn´t older than twenty years rather younger. He lay on the floor, his left leg captured in a bear trap. It was the boys' blood that I perceived all the time, I realized. Even now it was so attractive, I wanted to taste it but Edward held me back.

I tried to free me from his control "C´mon sweetheart. I would only taste him, he won´t notice anyway!" I begged

"No Jake!" he scolded "You won´t taste human blood!"

I tried harder to escape "Fuck Edward, let go of me!" I yelled and ripped me of. I sprinted the short distance to the place the guy was trapped and lunged at him, I opened my mouth and right then the young man moaned and something in my mind clicked into the right place again

_What am I doing? I asked myself If Ed hadn´t … I wouldn´t think about it! I was willing to drink blood, oh goodness. What shall I do now?_

"Run straight home, I´ll help the poor guy!"

I was grateful that he didn´t judge me. I turned and raced back home where Alice was already expecting me!

"Are you okay? Look at me!" she ordered, I obeyed and she smiled with relief "I was afraid you would come home with blood red eyes but you look as usual." She watched over my shoulder and asked "Where is my brother?"

I winced "He is with the guy I attacked!"


	16. Results

**Results**

Edwards POV:

When I came back home, hours later I found Jake sitting on the bathroom floor, he was staring on the wall in front of him. He realized my presence but didn´t react on it, even when I stroke over his head he did nothing, just staring.

I sat down beside him, lay my arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer. "The guy is fine" I said after a while "He´s in the hospital, he is stabile now and his leg will heal too."

For the first time since I entered the room he turned his head and glanced at me "That´s not what I was afraid of." He noted "Edward, I tried to bite him! Could you imagine a guardian changed into the enemy?" he whined.

"You didn´t do it, honey! You´ve stopped yourself even though his blood infatuated you. No one would blame you for this."

His gaze turned icy, "I would! I´m made for protect the humans not to kill them. Alice told me she saw me coming home with red eyes maybe I couldn´t control myself the next time." He sobbed again and clung on my chest.

Under other circumstances I would have enjoyed his warm body so close to my cold one but something he has just said caught my attention

"Alice saw you? In a vision?" _I thought she can´t see them_

Jake nodded once "Is that bad?" he asked

_I don´t know_

"As soon you´re able to we should talk with Carlisle. Maybe we´ll find out what exactly happened with you" I answered.

It took another hour until Jake could finally stop crying "I´m ready" he said and get up.

Carlisle was in his room and greeted us enthusiastic "I guess you´ll want to know, what I found out!" he said, his mind was closed all we could hear was _3456,3457,3458,3459_, my father grinned "Don´t cheat. You wanted to talk!"

Jake groaned "Do you know what I am?" he asked

Carlisle nodded but then he shook his head "Well, yes and no." he replied "Let´s speak about all the topics of interest." Jake sighed but my dad just went on with his talk "My son told me that he bit you, which wasn´t quit the best way to confess his love to you, but that´s not the subject.

With the bite, his venom entered your bloodstream and when you died during your fight with Emmett – even if it was only for a few minutes your heart stopped beating – it must have reacted with your body."

I already knew his change was my fault, _thanks for reminding me_ – Jake took my hand an thought _I don´t blame you love_

"But something in your genes must be prevented the transformation. You´re not completely altered but a few things are different.

You´re stronger and faster now, you share Edwards ability of reading minds, Alice is able to see you in her visions, your scent changed and you wanted to drink blood – if you do, I pray you to follow our rules and take an animal instead of a weak hiker." Jake shivered

"On the other side, your heart is still beating and your body-temperature is on its usual high level, you still need time to sleep, you prefer to eat human food and you´re still capable to shift into your wolf form." We know all this yet

"So I said no, because as far as I know there was never anything similar but this is also the reason why I said yes" he smiled bride "Jake since you are part wolf and part vampire, I´m pretty sure you´re unique!"

_I´m not a vampire – only part of me_ Jake cheered

"If that´s true and I mustn´t drink blood I guess I can live with. Looks like I got the best parts of both sides" my mate said


	17. We ll try it

We´ll try it

Jacobs POV:

Edward seemed to be happy that I was on a good way to accept my new being, but what else should I do? I assured myself that I would never let my vampire-part be the one who lead my actions, I was still a werewolf, I was still me _– still me!_

We sat there in the living room for a while and chatted with Eddie's parents, Esme gave me so much to eat, that even for me it was impossible to finish the plates. As every time she cooked for me it tasted wonderful, unfamiliar because of some extraordinary spices but nevertheless extremely delicious. _Better then blood?_

When my stomach was more than filled Edward excused us, took my hand and pulled me with him. _I have to fulfill my promise_ he thought while we went upstairs, a stupid grin entered my face _I´ve almost forgotten it_

I entered our room and jumped on the bed, full with excitement I clapped my hand on the matrass. I haven´t to invite him a second time he was on my side an instant later and his lips collide with mine. I don´t remember when we put out our clothes but somehow it must be happened because as I once broke from him to gasp for air we were both nude.

"I - want - you – Edward" I whispered between our kisses "And so do I" he replied

The kiss got more intensive and I could feel his growing desire. I fared no differently; all I wanted was to feel him. I wanted to merge with him. I wanted him inside me; I needed him, right now.

_Fuck me_ I blinked at him and I knew for sure he wanted me just as much

My hand glided bit by bit between his legs and I started to wipe his shaft with slow, pleasant movements. I looked in his eyes all the time and saw how much he enjoyed what I was doing to him. He moaned softly and I felt my own erection rising.

Unexpectedly my vampire pushed me away, only a bit and without any violent characteristic but I didn´t understand what this should mean

Edward shut his eyes and pressed his fingers against his temples "Stop it Jake", he said in a slow, painful voice. I was afraid, I didn´t know what´s up with him.

I was perplexed "Stop what, touching you?"

"Stop torturing me like this!" he begged

I had still no clue what he meant, so I sent him only an asking look and said nothing to his words

Suddenly he calmed down again and watched me furious _What the hell have I done, he liked it before_

"You don´t have to remind me" he hissed "I know exactly what I did; I really thought you had forgiven me! But apparently I was wrong. You don´t…"

I interrupted him "Ed, I actually don´t know what you´re talking about. I did nothing except of patting you"

"But your thoughts" he noted

"All I thought was how badly I want to feel you"

He stared at me, his expression thoughtful "I had a flash-back and I believed you did it with intention but possibly I´m wrong. Maybe your subconscious has done this. I guess you´re not ready for having sex, the illusions your mind sent me, I can´t handle it.

_That´s not fair. _

_It felt right Ed! I want you!_

_Fucking subconscious! _

I was frustrated, who knows how long it would take until my mind was completely healed from the former happenings _maybe I should go and talk to a psychiatrist_.

I rested my head on his bare chest and murmured "But we will try it again, will we?"

Edward answered "Sure honey, we´ll try it!"


	18. Bad news

**Bad news**

Edward:

The rest of the night we figured out which actions were possible – kissing, cuddling, patting on some areas – and which were unbearable – touching too sensitive areas or sucking on his neck were absolute no goes.

In the morning, when Jake slept in my arms Alice raced through the door without knocking, she looked at us franticly and whispered only three words that made me fear the worst "They are coming". She left immediately to order everyone in the living room.

I stroked softly over Jakes hair to wake him "C´mon honey" I said "something will happen and we need to discuss how we should act!"

He hasn´t get enough sleep and was just too heavy-eyed to stand up so I picked him up and carried him unceremoniously down where the others were already waiting for us.

I let myself drop on the sofa and held Jake still in my arms, his head pressed against my bare chest.

Alice started to describe what she has seen, I knew already what she would say but her words shocked me again.

"They come to check whether we have kept our promise. They want to see if Bella is still human or if she is one of us now." She told us.

"When?" Esme whispered

"Two weeks, maybe less!" Alice said in a low voice "I don´t know how we can stop them. Caius had warned us, he said there would not be second chance. We can`t change her just to save our own skin, that would not be right. Has one of you an idea of what we should do now?"

The only one who responded was Emmett, he wanted to fight them.  
"Don´t be ridiculous Em, we're talking about the Volturi. We do not stand a chance against them!" replied Rose.

Alice suddenly gasped, she had a new vision. I watched what she saw in her mind's eye and I was sure Jake did the same. He was pale and got goose bumps when he saw the horrifying images.

All except Jake and I waited anxiously what Alice had to say.

"Rose is right," she said finally "if they decide to punish us, we will not be able to stop them." She didn´t say that she had seen the end of us all and Jake and I remained silent too.

A small smile crossed her face as she spoke again. "Maybe we're lucky and Aro decides nevertheless not to destroy Bella. He is curious like her gift develops when she's a vampire. His decision didn´t fall yet."

"We need to talk to her and the wolves." Carlisle said, "They must know what to expect. No matter how Aro chooses, I'm sure his visit will have consequences for us all." _You bet _

Jake was shaking in my arms; he was still shocked by the violence of the images in Alice's head. He couldn´t imagine leaving Bella to these monsters, just like I couldn´t get used to this possibility.

It was not long before Sam and the rest of the pack along with Bella arrived at our house. Alice had just told them initially that something bad will happen and that we urgently needed to speak with them.

When we were all gathered she repeated what we had already heard. Bella started to cry and Paul took her in his arms and gently stroked her arm to calm her. "It's my entire fault," she whispered, like a mantra over and over again.

"You're wrong Bella, if I wouldn´t be gone to them at that time, you would now have a happy, normal life instead of being frightened from a group of bloodthirsty vampires." I assured her.

As might be expected, the wolves were in contradiction of exchanging Bella for our lives; if at all Aro would accept it. As Emmett they were for fighting, for the safety of their tribe, for Bella and even for us. The worst for me was that Jake also wanted to join them, he would fight.

_He would fight?_ The sudden knowledge hit me like a thunderbolt. The Volturi did not know about the shape-shifter, and above all, they knew nothing about my Jacob. He was unique and Aro was a collector.

I looked at Jake and desperately wanted nothing more than to keep him away from everything here. _Suddenly it seemed regardless to me what would happen to Bella the only that mattered was that my wolf would be safe._ Jake growled quietly as he followed my thoughts, for him it was unthinkable to let the others down.

We talked for a long time about various options but rejected all ideas once again. Our hope for a peaceful solution rapidly faded as Alice finally barely audible whispered, "The decision has been made," we realized how he had decided without she had to say it aloud.

Now the question was no longer whether we have to fight, but only how to survive.


	19. Bad idea

**Bad idea**

Jacobs POV:

It was silent in the room, no one said a word and we were all captured in our own thoughts. Edward tightened his grip around my middle, Alice longed for Jaspers hand, it seemed like everyone needed the touch of a beloved person at this time.

Alice had seen their arrival. _They stepped out of a dark cloud on us, and Marcus touched Aro to tell him something. Unlike her last Vision this one ended at this point. The wolves were so involved in the fight and I was sure they wouldn´t even survive._

As I watched Bella who was pressed at Paul's chest still sobbing, I picked up a thought of Edward, who took my blood freeze in my veins.

Like all of us, he was still searching for a solution that would save our lives. But just what he thought couldn´t be serious. I jumped up and stared at him angrily that he flinched, he felt caught. "I haven´t planned to do that. The idea was suddenly there," he whispered apologetically, "I will just protect you!" I did not want to argue with him in front of anyone else, but I wanted the thing definitely not leave it alone.

"Come out there with me!" I snapped. I stormed out and he followed me without questions. Once we were out of earshot I said, "How can you even think that you want to blame my brothers? You want to make them responsible for ensuring that you have not turned Bella? Are you insane? You cannot make yourself against them!

I became angrier. "You're however loved Bella. How can you so lightly throw away her live and those of my pack?" I couldn´t understand him.

He just stood there and waited until I was done, only then he tried to defend himself, "I've already said that I would not really do that. Under other circumstances I wouldn´t come to such ideas, but I'm so afraid for you, I'd do anything to protect you Jake, everything!" he said, and gently touched my arm.

I couldn´t not bear his touch and took a step backwards. "If you betray them, you betray me!" I hissed.

Edward looked at me bewildered at "Try to understand me if they would believe me that I had not the opportunity to make Bella one of us because the wolves would have prevented it, we might be saved. You were saved!"

He took a step towards me but I shrank further back from him. "Edward you've lost your mind! You are quite clear that I would fight with my pack when necessary. You would not protect me, without the help of your family; we would just be more inferior." I announced.

After a further appraising look he nodded and said, "You're right. We will find a better solution, I just hope in time we notice something." I did not think he gave up so easily, that was not his style but I would be careful that he doesn´t already made the wrong choices.

_If the Volturi would come, I will see that neither my pack nor his family, something would happen to. _

_I had my own plans, I just had to make sure that neither Edward nor Alice experienced of it through their gifts. I had enough exercise to hide my thoughts, but as Alice could see my future as clear as from the other vampires I had to make sure that I probably always remain close to a werewolf._

"I trust you!" I assured him, _or at least I try._

I turned and walked slowly back to the house, he followed me with a few steps behind. We sat on our original position on the couch just that I am no longer so closely clung to him. Paul had now brought Bella home so that Charlie didn´t have to worry about her stay away.

After a while when I had somewhat calmed down, I leaned my head on Edward's shoulder and he began gently to stroke my arm. This time I allowed his touch.

Later, when my brothers got ready to leave I was on to accompany them. Edward looked at me shocked and grabbed my hand, he thought I was still mad at him but I reassured him with an intense kiss that I was not and finally I asked, "Don´t you think my dad would have deserved it that I go visit him? The guys would surely keep an eye on me! "I grinned and after another kiss Ed let go of my hand and I ran after the other.

I would like to stay with my mate, but I do not want to risk that he learned of my plan. If he knew that he brought me to this idea, he would freak out. _Aro is a collector, he had said, that might save the both of my families._


	20. Preparations

**Preparations **

Jacobs POV:

As announced, I spent the night with my Dad, Seth stayed with me, he was too upset to be alone in order and he could hardly crawl into the bed of his sister. It took a long time until he fell asleep snuggled up to me. _If Edward would see that he´d be so jealous_.

But for me it felt properly, Seth was like my little brother, I wanted to comfort and protect him. I had no ulterior motives when he was sleeping in my bed, not even when he wanted such an intense body contact like tonight.

The time passed far too quickly and I would prefer to spent it alone with Edward – maybe in the bed – instead of practicing combat techniques. It was a waste of time anyway.

After what Carlisle and Edward had told us about the Volturi and even more what I had seen in their minds, I was sure that we would have no chance in the fight. No matter how much we trained and no matter how long we would have time to prepare ourselves.

We did not know exactly when they would arrive, but it would be soon. The vampires decided to go hunting again so they were as strong as possible when the battle began; and this time I wanted to accompany them. As a wolf, I thought it was quite natural to feed raw meat, and perhaps I would be stronger with fresh animal blood too.

The hunt was exciting, since I woke up from the coma, I had turned only once into a wolf. Well, I enjoyed it to finally run on four paws again; I picked up the scent of a deer, followed it and killed that animal. It tasted not too bad and the constant burning in my throat eased somewhat. _Then Ed was right, my body demanded in addition to normal food also to blood._

I was one of the first back at home; it was pure coincidence that of all Emmett was already there. He made still regretted that he had believed my lies and had almost killed me. Although so, he was more concerned with his brother than with me, but at least for the fractured skull bone he was really sorry.

I gave him a pat on the shoulder, "Hey Emmett, good, that I can just talk to you alone"

He looked at me quizzically when I went on to say "You did say you owe me a compensation for my terrible headaches." I grinned "I know now what you could do for me!"

"Well then, I'll do whatever you want. What is it then?"

I looked at him intently and came to the conclusion that he was serious. "Well, I cannot tell you exactly, for now it´s enough that you´ll promise to stand on Edwards's side when our visitors come. So, I mean right next to him. What I want you to do; I will tell you when the time has come!"

"I promise. But if we all have survived, we're even, okay?" he agreed. I shook his hand to confirm our pact.

One by one the other came back and it was getting full in-house. Not only the Cullen's stood and sat in the rooms, Bella, and the pack also beleaguered the house.

Edward and I soon moved back to our area, the depressed mood in the living room was no longer to endure. We suspected that this would be our last night together.

That is to say, Edward feared the worst and I was sure that our life would change radically. We searched desperately to comfort each other, our bodies merged into one unit. No haunting memories affected us with this last night.

_Perhaps the memories of that night would help him later and remind him how much I love him - later, when I would no longer be with him. Of course, only if my plan works._

The morning came. We heard faint rumble of thunder. The sky was gray; the sun was hidden behind dense clouds. We gathered it was distributed hugs and kisses.

I held Edward's hand as we stepped outside, he looked towards the forest and whispered "They're almost there," All heads turned in the same direction and a moment later, a group of vampires emerged from the shadows of the forest.

A murmur went through the ranks of their guards when they noticed the wolves standing on our side of the meadow. The pack - with the exception of Paul that stood next to Bella and me - had transformed just before the arrival of our enemies.

While Aro greeted the members of the Cullen family, Marcus looked puzzled at first to Bella -that he had expected on Edwards side - and then to me. He touched briefly Aro`s hand to show him how our relationships had changed.

Aro looked at me penetratingly and finally said in a conversational tone, "Then you're probably the replacement for the human girl. If we have done, what we're coming for I would like to know more about you. I've felt firsthand how much our young friend Edward loved this girl. But Marcus said that your connection just goes much deeper.

I had seen in Aro's eyes all the time as he spoke and followed his mind closely_. He was curious about me. He wanted to know who and what I am. He wanted to explore and understand my nature. _

If I wanted to be successful I had to act now before it was too late, before they grabbed Bella.

I turned to Edward, kissed him quickly and whispered in his ear "I love you!" Then I called to Emmett, "Hold him back!" and began to cross the lawn, with each step I approached Aro Edwards was growling louder, but I haven´t turned around. A few steps from the old vampire I stopped.


	21. Jacobs plan

**Jacobs plan**

Edwards POV:

I could not believe what happened here exactly. While Emmett held me with a firm grip Jacob went straight to Aro and stopped only just in front of him. He did not care about the guards who wanted to stop him but were called back from Aro. He ignored my growling and cursing.

And now, as it was too late to prevent him and he stopped to hide his thoughts from me. I cried when I finally realized what he had already planned the whole time. Jacob, who now stood immediately before Aro, looked straight in his eyes; he did not show his fear as he spoke.

"I would like to offer you a deal Aro. You have just said that you would be happy to know me when your job is finished. We all know that there won´t be a possibility of a meeting later. I understand that you´re worried because Bella knows your secret. She also knows that ours, and how we do you should trust her and on her discretion."

He turned slightly to the side and watched Marcus, "You feel how closely she is connected with one of us, Paul has found in her his soul mate, just like I have mine in Edward. Our two families have finally made peace, we are forever linked with each other and if you try to harm one of us we will not allow it - not without a fight. "

His eyes rested again on Aro, who had been listening patiently. "Be assured we don´t want to fight you. We want to live in peace and we do not want to provoke you, we still hope for an amicable solution."

I was fascinated by Jacobs's self-confident demeanor; he seemed completely relaxed chatting with the old vampire even though it looked very different inside him.

Aro interrupted him, "My young friends knew the rules and acted deliberately against our wishes. I would have been very pleased to welcome the talented Bella in my family. But as things stand, I will probably have to forgo to get a new member of my clan. "

He let his gaze wander through our ranks, and he obviously doesn´t like the idea of wipe us all. He could not properly assess the wolves; he did not know how strong they were.

I groaned as Jake now stretched out his hand to touch Aro. That couldn`t suppress his curiosity and their fingertips met each other. Aro`s eyes lit up when he realized how special my Jacob was, pleased he began to smile.

Finally, Jake drew back his hand and took a deep breath before he began to speak again. "You saw what I am and I could see what you want."I told you I´ll make you an offer, here it is: If you give me warrant that you let my family - and with family I mean both the Cullen´s and my tribe - in peace then," he glanced at me and then again made eye contact with Aro "then, I am all yours"

Most of the wolves howled in terror, Bella screamed in shock and I caught a mess of thoughts. Someone's mind said _"You are our true alpha"_ Some wolf heads twisted around on the Sam but he had only eyes for Jacob.

Emmett drew a sharp breath, his grip loosened a little and I managed to get out. I sprinted quickly across the meadow and stood at Jacob's side a second later. Jake grabbed silently for my hand while we were waiting for the reaction of the royal family.

"Hmm, an interesting offer. A mindreading wolf-vampire-hybrid against a normal - although certainly with a great gift blessed - human girl. And there would be no need for a fight and we all could still be friend. I think we should discuss that brothers" Aro said, turning to his brothers.

I hated the idea that they could respond to his proposal and take him with them to Italy. I'd rather be here to die in the battle than that he voluntarily went into their hands.

Jake began to tremble slightly as he listened to my worries _Ed,__darling,__let me do what__I think is right__! __There is__nothing more important__to me__than your__safety_ he let me know. His eyes were still focused on the three vampires that would decide our future.

Marcus sighed, he did not care what would happen and Caius wanted to bring our meeting over with. "What else is there to discuss to? We have warned them, they knew there is no second chance for them to give. The life of the girl was forfeited, so let us put it behind us and go home. "

As he spoke, a loud growl rose from the ranks of wolves and Caius looked uncertainly over to them. His intent to destroy Bella got progressively undermined.

"Caius, calm down. Don`t you see the fantastic opportunity that offers itself to us here? This boy here is the only of its kind and don´t you believe too, that he would be a great addition to our guard?"

They discussed some time longer and finally Caius – _who __was__increasingly__afraid__of__the wolves_ - and Marcus – _who wanted __just__to go__the__home_ - gave their permission.

"So we agree! We guarantee the safety of your family and you´ll accompanied us. That's wonderful." Aro clapped his hands in delight. Jacob only nodded his consent.


	22. I ll miss you

**I will miss you**

Edwards POV:

After the decision was made, they gave us less time to say goodbye properly. They wanted to go back to Italy immediately and for me it was no question that I will come with them too. But for Jake it was unthinkable, he didn´t allow me to accompany him.

"I do that for you! I don´t want you around those monsters" he looked quickly to the vampires he had to follow soon "I want you to stay here with your family – safe. You know me darling; they will soon get enough of me and send me back! Until then, promise me not to risk anything and above all, don´t follow me."

Again he squinted to his "new family" and recognized that they were ready to leave - only Aro was still chatting, he renewed his invitations for Alice, Jasper and Bella to join his family while the others waited a little annoyed – our time was nearly over.

I still didn´t know what to say, how to convince him to let me stay at his side, to let me be a part of his chosen way. Besides, I didn´t have to say anything, he already knew what I was thinking.

Jake lifted his hands to my cheeks and pulled my face close, our lips melted and for a brief moment we forgot everything around us – we were only two people in love, sharing a very private moment – but far too soon we were brought back to the dark reality when Aro cleared his throat.

"When you two are finished, I would prefer to leave this uncomfortable place and go back home. You´ll be so excited when you´ll see your new home, young Jacob." He said thrilled.

Aro seemed to be the only one who was absolutely satisfied with this new situation. Well, Jake was glad that his plan had worked perfectly and that no one would die today – we all were – but his internal conflict was indescribable.

On one side, his heart was screaming in pain; he wanted to stay, he wanted rather to die then to leave me but on the other side his mind told him that he has to go to rescue all of us; it leaded him away from everyone he knew and loved.

"So dear Jacob, are you ready to go now?" Aro asked his tone more an order than a question.

I looked in my mates eyes and whispered "Please, let me come with you?" _Don´t make it any harder for me _he thought as a reply then he nodded and told the Volturis leader "I´m ready!"

_I will always love you! I will come back to you! I swear!_

He kissed me one last time and followed the leaving vampires. Abruptly he stopped and searched for the biggest of the wolves on the field, when he found Sam he shouted "Tell my dad that I´m sorry. I saw no other way for us. And Sam, tell him I love him!"

With these words he turned and never looked back again.

When they were out of sight it should have been delight or leastways relief in the air, the Volturi were gone, we were all still alive and no one was even hurt. But we all stood frozen, we couldn´t believe what just had happened.

_Have we really lost Jacob? _

I couldn´t describe how I felt; where my heart should be there was only a cold, painful emptiness left. I knew he did this mostly to protect me but that he wasn´t willing to spend the time he has to be located in Volterra with me at his side offended me anyway.

_I should ignore his wish and follow them quickly but he wouldn´t be pleased when I would act that way. No, if he wants me to stay with our family, I will – at least, for now._


	23. Gone

**Gone**

Edwards POV:

The pack has gone home where their families and imprints were waiting for them to come back in one piece. Paul wanted to walk Bella home but she wasn´t ready to leave yet.

She looked at me with tears glittering in her eyes "I´m so sorry Edward" she said, her voice breaking when she wanted to continue. I took her in my arms – Paul suppressed a growl – when she started sobbing.

"If I could do anything to bring him back I´ll do it" she offered. Paul in a desperate try to comfort her – and partly me too – said "That sounds as if he had died but hey he isn´t dead! He´ll come back!" He wasn´t convinced of his own words and repeated "I´m sure he´ll come back" this time more for himself than for us.

I couldn´t stand it any longer and pushed Bella away and in Paul's open arms. "Go home Bella, he´ll be fine" I said.

I turned around and headed inside the house, crossed the living room where my family discussed the sudden end of the conflict and locked the door behind me as soon I was in my room.

I was laying on Jakes side of the bed, inhaling his scent when my cellphone began to ring; the star wars melody told me it was Jake calling. I picked up the phone "Honey?" "I love it when you call me that" he answered and I cheered.

"I wanted to tell you that they gave me a nice little room here in Volterra – I was a little afraid they would lock me in a cage to study me like animals in the zoo."

I was puzzled _He is already in Volterra? How long was I laying here?_

"So, they treat you well?" I asked.

He sighed "Yeah they do – well I´m not allowed to leave my room but I guess that´s not a problem, I won´t go outside anyway. Aro's enthusiasm is a bit exhausting; he wanted me to show him how I phase again and again, but now I´m done for the rest of the day."

We chatted almost two hours about this and that when Jakes voice suddenly gets serious. "Darling, I meant what I´ve said! Please don´t do something reckless to get me out of here! I have a contract with Aro and I have to fulfill it!"

"If it is your wish, I´ll stay away from Volterra" I promised

Over month we phoned once or twice a day; sometimes for hours and on other times only for a few minutes.

I told him everything that happens in LaPush; Leah freaked out when she thought that she´s imprinted on a girl visiting her aunt in LaPush – she realized soon, that she only had shared Embrys thoughts and he was the one who has been imprinted. That was fun.

He chatted over the many people he met and the different kinds of gift they have, he said "Could you imagine a man who float a few inches over the ground – I don´t know what´s the use of this talent but it looked really cool." The most impressed he was on a woman which moved things without touching them.

I told him that Bella was pregnant with Paul's kid and that they are engaged now. Jake loved the idea that I wanted to support them until they earn enough money to care for themselves.

He told me about the friendship he had built with some of the vampires – I didn´t like the thought of him being friend with only one of them, but he has to know if he could trust them – mostly he spoke over Alec and Felix, but somehow he also started to like Aro.

I told him about Alice new car – a blue viper – what made him jealous because he wanted to drive such a car too.

He said that Aro wanted to make a pact with the shape shifters, that he wanted to live in peace and harmony with them and that he is searching for other tribes with similar abilities to join this contract.

Of course we both confessed our love on each call.

Someday I just told him about Sam's and Emily's wedding Jake become more and more silent during our conversation. He only gave short replies on what I said, and said nothing from his day like he usually did.

When Alice, who waited downstairs the whole time, called my name I wanted to end the chat with our traditional goodbye "Honey, Alice is waiting. I love you and I can´t wait to hold you in my arms again" Normally he answered "I´ll be there when you close your eyes" – _I know corny but hey we were in love_ – but this time I heard him breathing hard when he said

"I love you more then everything and I hope you won´t hate me now but please Ed, don´t call again" he hang up.

I was puzzled, I didn´t understand what had happened. I dialed his number again but he didn´t put up the phone – no matter how often I tried. Every time I spoke a message on his mobile box told him how much I love him, that I need him, that I can´t life completely without him and tried everything to persuade him to call me back – he never did.

That was when I started to think about leaving my family, forgetting about my promise and get him out of whatever they are doing with him. I was sure it wasn´t his own idea to stop speaking with me – or at least I hoped so. But finally I decided that I can´t break my word and stayed in Forks.


	24. Another live

**Another life:**

Jacobs POV:

I missed my Edward badly – all the time, but most after our chats. When I hung up after his calls I mostly began to cry because it hurt just too much not to be with him.

During the days when I was too busy to think the pain in my heart was bearable but in the nights when I was all alone, laying on my bed it was torture to be separated from him.

So one day I decided it would be easier not to talk to him, not to be reminded on what I wanted the most, not to hear his lovely voice and not to cry me into sleep every single night. I really believed it would ease the pain and it would be better for Edward too if we would learn to life without the other. And not to take his phone calls would be the first step in this direction.

After I had begged him not to call me again I broke down on my bedroom floor whining and sobbing all night long. My mobile box was filled soon with his please. I listened to them when I missed him too much even if I knew it would be worst afterwards – sometimes I just needed to hear his voice to secure myself that he was still there.

Though, I never called back because I honestly hoped that he´ll stop trying and start a new life without me – for his own best. I wanted him to be happy.

I´ve learned a lot about the Volturi and maybe it sounds weird but somehow I started to like them. Well, not all of them. Caius per example refused being in the same room with me if possible and Jane still used her gift on me from time to time – she really didn´t like me.

At least Aro wasn´t the bad guy I thought he is – he was full of life, he wanted to learn everything he doesn´t know yet and he really loved his family.

He was curious about the wolves and even if I was afraid at first that he would knew all the secrets of my tribe and use it against us; his mind teaches me otherwise. When Aro found out that we were only made to protect our people he simply said "That´s what we are doing too. We are protecting our kind."

He didn´t see us as enemies any longer because now he understood that our motives were the same – we wanted the people we care about to be safe. He also wanted to find out more about shape shifting and finally he hoped to build an alliance with the wolves. He didn´t want any more fights between vampires and them.

Aro convinced me to try human blood like all "normal" vampires do and to tell the truth I tried it one or two times, maybe even some more but I always felt guilty afterwards and so I decided to prefer animal blood or regular human food instead.

Only when I was too stressed out or I needed a lot of power for doing a job Aro has given to me I was cheating – sometimes.

He also was curious about how I would taste like and after a while I allowed him to bite me. I regretted it instantly. It felt strange; it felt wrong; Edward should be the only one doing this, drinking my blood.

I didn´t move an inch while I watched Aro sucking on my left wrist – I would never offer my neck to someone else than my imprint; this felt weird enough for me. The bite started to hurt and when I moaned Aro stopped immediately.

"Your wonderful Jake, even the taste of your blood is extraordinary" he said enthusiastic. I couldn´t help but smile on his excitement.

He made me a member of his personal guard and I spent my time mostly with him, Felix and Alec. It was good not to be alone too much – being busy meant less time to think, less time to miss him, les time to suffer.

We were looking for other legend similar to ours and when every time we found one Aro sent me out to proof if they were true.

Since Caius still didn´t trust me he ordered Jane with me, my master wasn´t pleased when he found out what she was doing to me when we were out there alone. I would never told him that – I´m not a traitor – she told him by herself when she touched his skin.

Good for me. So since that day Alec – who I can tell is a great friend – volunteered us and held his sister in line. He also was there for me to calm me down when I was freaked out or to cheer me up when I was down.

He was always lovingly and gentle when we spent the night together, having sex with him eased my mind, it felt good to be wanted but it was nothing compared to being with Ed. With him it was only fucking, with Ed it was love.


	25. Left behind

Left behind

Edwards POV:

I imagined the worst scenarios what could have happened to my mate. I saw him arrested in a small compartment, alone in the darkness. I saw him tortured by red-eyed vampires. I saw him cuffed on a wall with them sucking his powerful blood.

Alice told me again and again that he is fine but I couldn´t believe that he won´t talk to me on his own motivation.

For a long time I went on with my daily phone calls but when he didn´t react I gave up sometime – Don´t get me wrong, not on him, only on calling.

I hated to be alone, I still couldn´t stand the feeling of loneliness, I missed my Jacob but I knew he wanted me to go on.

It took month until I started to leave the house on another purpose then go hunting. I didn´t want to go back to school, even I could have because I missed the last year. So I did not know what to do with all my time, somehow I began to visit Jacobs dad and found a great conversations partner in him.

As I spent so much time down in the Reservation I also get closer to the wolf-pack, especial with Seth. To my shame I have to confess that we get real close. He was so much like Jake, always smiling and honest and lovely.

Someday when we sat in my room and listened to some new CDs it got late and there was a blizzard out there. Seth asked if he could stay for the night, he almost managed to suppress the shaking of his body. I realized that he was really scared from the storm.

I wanted to calm him down, took him into my arms and patted his spine. Suddenly he raised his head and kissed me and I was too hungry for love to refuse his advantages. When he runs his tongue over my lips I opened them willingly to let him in.

What should I say? One thing leaded to another!

It was a very sensual and patient experience; Seth let me forget my sorrows – at least for that night. Afterwards I regretted it bitterly.

"I´m sorry Seth, we shouldn´t have done this!" I said

He shook his head in frustration and replied "Why? I wanted to. I´m old enough to make my own decisions and it´s not like I have never done this before"

I tipped at my temple and he blushed when I said "Mind reader, you remember? I knew it was your first time. You should have waited for someone you love and not spend it with me."

He buried his red face on my chest and murmured "I had a crush on Jake for years and I wanted him to be the one, but he would never touch me in another way then as a friend or brother should do. Look, I spent so many nights in his bed, he held me in his arms and I was allowed to cling to him but never more.

When I tried to kiss him he shoved me away immediately. So don´t be mad at me when I tell you you´re only second chose. Even if I don´t love you it felt right, no more than right, it felt perfect."

He lifted his head to look at my face, he smiled but the smile didn´t reach his eyes "I guess you were thinking on Jake, but that´s okay. Don´t be sorry Ed, everything is just fine."

It was hard for me to admit that I had not thought of Jake and I would never say that out loud even if it was the truth.

We agreed that we weren´t in love,

That we still would be friends,

That we shouldn´t have done this.

But we also agreed that it had felt too good not to do it again.

I knew it would be over when he´ll find his soul mate and he knew I´ll never touch him again as soon as my Jake was back in my arms.


	26. My mission

**My mission**

Jacobs POV

Since Aro was so obsessed in finding shape shifters he studied legends from all continents and every time he thought some of them might be true he sent me there to deliver his offer of peace. To tell them that no vampire would hunt in their area or hurt their people when they agree to not fight us outside their land.

Time passed and I traveled to countries I have never heard of before, I met people from all over the world, I learned to understand a lot of different languages and to speak some of them fluently. I convinced many shape-shifters to take Aro's offer and make peace with their enemies.

It seems that the most common animal to transform in were wolves but I also saw other forms of shifters. I met some lion packs in Africa – these huge cats were really scary.

In Canada and Siberia I saw bears – they looked like they could break every bone in my body with just one hug but when I knew them better I found out they were really friendly and more like cute, fluffy teddy bears.

When we were in India I had to speak with a pride of tigers – they were arrogant and believed that being a tiger; a stupid big cat; was much better than being a wolf. I still don´t like them.

But as said, mostly we had to deal with wolves, and I was graceful for that we had at least the same body language.

The hardest part was, when I had to find packs in America, I hated to be so near to the place where I belong to with no chance to get there.

I knew if I would run away I´ll have to suffer under Jane's gift – which wouldn´t have stopped me trying – and even more important if I would see my Edward I could impossible leave him again and that would break my contract with Aro – which absolutely stopped me.

Ever when I was near at my former home I told the shape-shifters I met there about the Cullen`s Family, their special way of live and about my imprint on Edward. I persuaded them to look in the vampires' eyes because they will reveal if it were dangerous vampires – red eyes – or good ones – golden eyes.

I was always very careful not to feed on humans when I knew I have to make new friends somewhere on the planet – I guess they would have killed me before I say anything to them.

In the rare time I spent alone, I still cuddled the shirt I wore on the last day of my former live – I took it from Edwards's cabinet the day we met the Volturi – it has lost Edwards scent long ago, but it was the only thing I have to remind me on him.

Sometimes I called my mobile box to hear his voice; I knew every message word by word. His calls had stopped a long time ago and I hoped he has found a new love and was happy now.

I really did – _even if I longed for his touch, his scent, his voice, his kisses_ – I wanted him to be happy no matter how I felt.

One day when Heidi brought a new group of tourist – well, we called them lunch – to show them the great view from the tower room she guided the poor humans in the great hall where we all were gathered.

I know, I shouldn´t be there to watch the people dying but as Aro´s guard I had to be there. Unexpectedly I snapped a thought from Caius – I was shocked, I didn´t show my interest but I listened to his mind now with more intense. I didn´t took part on the meal this day and I never left Aro´s side.

When he has finished his lunchtime I asked politely "Master, may you come with me, I want to show you something?"

He raised an eyebrow – usually I never called him my master except there were important visitors in our; in the place where we lived. _The lightning should hit me if I should ever call this place my home. It´s said home is where the heart is, and my heart never left Edward, so home is where he is._

Aro stood up and followed me to his private rooms; they have special walls and doors so no one could hear what was said inside.

"What´s so important, dear Jacob?" he asked after I have closed the door behind us.

"See it with your own eyes" I said and touched softly his hand.

_It´s enough now! Even some of our guards are feeding on animals these days. What the hell is he thinking? Making peace with those damned shape-shifter! I don´t want peace, I want them dead! How could he not see how useless his new friends are? __We should be at the top of the food chain! We should rule the world and not live in the shadows any longer! It´s time for a new era, it´s time for a new leader, it´s time for me_

"He wants to kill you" I said still shocked

Aro sighed "I´ve known this day will come. I´m glad that you are here, you´re a light in these dark days."

He ordered the guards we absolutely trusted – _thanks god for my special gift_ – to Caius´ part of the house where we caught him unawares. "I´m sorry brother" was the last Aro said before he gave us the order to kill the man who was his friend for centuries.


	27. The girlspack

**The girls-pack**

Edwards POV

Once I was hunting in Oregon a familiar scent let me stop – _there were wolves._

I was so used to that smell that I not even thought about the danger I was in, but this wasn´t the LaPush pack and I got a little bit scared when recognized three big wolves watching me.

One of them, a nice looking white wolf stepped closer and I heard her thinking about golden eyes, _why should this mean something for her_? I waited for their attack but it seemed like they wouldn´t harm me.

The white wolf ran back in the shadows and after a few minutes a young girl went towards me instead of the wolf. She was perhaps seventeen, her long blond hair fell over her shoulders and in the dark green dress she wore she looked beautiful.

"Welcome stranger" she said with a friendly smile "as we have promised we don´t hurt any golden-eyes, nevertheless I beg you to leave our land before the opening of the summer camp tomorrow." I was speechless so I only nodded.

When I found my voice again I said "Sure, sure I´m leaving, but could I asked you a question first?"

"Of course you can" the girl replied

"Who did you promise this?" I was really curios.

The blonde moaned and sat down in the grass, she clapped with her hand on the ground next to her and invited me "Sit down and I´ll tell you the whole story."

I did what she had said and was wondering why she wasn´t afraid of sitting beside a vampire, their natural enemy.

"Look, one day a huge russet wolf came to us. He told us, that his pack lives in harmony with the cold ones, that they have a contract with them. My father – he is one of our eldest – was curios.

You have to know, I´m his only child and he always hated the idea of me fighting against some bloodsuckers – sorry I mean vampires. She blushed "The wolf told us that he is even imprinted on one of your kind"

That was when I finally realized that she was speaking over my wolf; my mouth fell open in surprise. _He has been so near and didn´t even come for a visit._

"We believed his words and my father sent me with him to Italy to meet his master"

"His master?" I asked in disbelieve

"His name is Aro, but he called him master. Why do you ask? Do you know Aro?" she asked in a rush and didn´t gave me the chance to answer even one of her questions. "He is the one we made our pact with.

They don´t do not bother us or our people nor hunting on our land, in return we let them pass our terrestrial. Oh and Jacob told us to be nice if any leeches – oh, sorry again – with golden eyes cross our land."

The girl smiled at me and said in a low voice "He was right, this eye color is really sexy"

I smiled too when I finally said "So my Jacob seems to be a perfect peacemaker, isn´t he?"

Luna – _I´ve caught her name from the wolves which were still standing behind her_ – jumped up and cheered "Your Edward! You're his mate, right? Oh he looked so dreamy when he spoke about you and his eyes were sparkling. He was so sad that he couldn´t run to you but that damned leech called Jane was watching him.

She never let him any privacy, the whole time she followed him – that was strange because as soon we were on the way to Italy she didn´t care any longer. He told us that one of the Volturi don´t trusts him and that he had ordered Jane to never let him alone. I´m so sorry for you!" The girl babbled like a waterfall and stopped only to breath.

_I bet it is Caius who did this, Marcus wouldn´t be interested enough to pay that much attention on Jacob._

I begged her to tell me everything about Jake. What he has said, how he has looked, how he has acted, if he seems to be happy in Volterra - even what color his cloth had I wanted to know it all.

I listened to her for hours – _sometimes her descriptions sounded like she had a little crush on him _– and it made me sad when she ended her story.

Back home I dialed his number for the first time since month – _as suspected I reached only his mobile box_ - and left him a message "Honey, I´m damned proud of you. You're fantastic. Don´t forget that I love and miss you still. I´m waiting for you to come home!"


	28. Pathetic

**Pathetic **

Jacobs POV:

Soon after Caius death live started to get easier, it was strange but I think no one really missed him and no one was sad – _maybe except of Jane but since I didn´t like her I didn´t care._

Suddenly we had many guests in Volterra, a lot of vampires that wanted to visit Aro or Marcus – _but the one I wanted to see the most never visited. Edward was strong, he kept still his promise._

With all the people in the house we had often something to celebrate, our friends from all over the world joined our festivities and some of them stayed with us for a time. One day Marcus even organized a costume ball, some outfits were imaginative and colorful others seem to be designed like the cloth the vampires have worn in their former live.

It was a great event, but I couldn´t bear all the smiling, chatting and dancing people around me. _Not today_. It was the 7th May the night Edward has kissed me for the first time. I didn´t know the exact date so I had chosen this and the next day for our first-kiss-anniversary.

It was the day I missed him even more than usual. I couldn´t stand the happiness in the great hall any longer and sneaked to my room, or better to say my apartment – _I can tell a huge area my own since I moved in Caius former accommodations. But in fact, __I would swap it on the spot against my old room in LaPush._

I almost managed to let myself drop on my bed – as said almost – and fell on the floor next to it. On the purple carpet there I curled myself into a ball and waited that the pain would stop or at least ease a bit.

When I felt strong enough I crawled onto my bed, took Edwards shirt – which was always hidden under my pillow – and wished his scent would still adhere on it. I grabbed for my mobile phone and dialed the number of my mobile-box – the pain was so overwhelming that day, I assumed hearing the old messages couldn´t make it worst.

_I was wrong!_

It became much worst when a nice female voice told me "You have one new message" Of course it was Edward. He told me that he was proud of me and that he still waited for me.

My heart ached more than I thought would be possible. I cried the whole night and eventually I supposed I´m going to get dehydrated if I can´t stop this stupid tears from falling but I couldn´t hold them back.

Alec found me still sobbing when he came to bring me some breakfast and look how I feel. I´ve told him the evening before that I didn´t feel well and that I prefer going to bed of partying; he wanted to come with me but I´ve told him that I wanted to be alone.

Since he has never seen me so pathetic, he was shocked from my condition; he turned around immediately and guided Aro to my room only minutes later. I´ve never shown him this side of me as well, I was always strong and self-confident like I should have been but now he saw me weak, insecure and helpless. He was very uncomfortable with this situation, so he sat down on the edge of my bed and asked:"What it is dear Jacob? Is there anything I could do to help you?"

Because I didn´t trust my voice I simply gripped his hand to show him what was bothering me. "Oh" was his first reaction when he looked in my mind. He took his hand back and gave me a gloomy look, then he turned his head to Alec and said "Alec, dear would you be so kind and pack-up Jakes stuff in a bag – he is going home!"

I couldn´t believe what I have just heard and repeated questioningly "I´m going home?"

When his eyes met mine they were full of love "Of course you do, you´re far too long away from your love now!"

I was still doubtful "You let me go?"

His voice became serious "You´re not a prisoner Jake! Even if I would prefer that you would stay you´re free to go wherever you want!"

I couldn´t thank him enough. I pulled him in a strong embrace and for the first time in nearly seven years I felt absolutely happy.

It didn´t took me long to smash all my stuff in bags and suitcases but saying good bye to all my friends took me hours. Back in the entrance hall - where Caren the momentary receptionist watched over my luggage – I saw a tiny woman and a huge guy step out of the elevator.

I couldn´t stop myself, I raced through the hall and took her into my arms "Alice" I whispered "I´m going home!" She smiled waggish "Dump, that´s why we are here" _Foresight – I should have known._

_Stop! She said we?_

I looked at the young man beside her and it took me a minute to identify him "Seth - you´re grown up, you´re huge" I said and when he hugged me I added "and strong"

Then with a last look back I pulled them both with me in the elevator and ordered cheerful "C´mon guys I don´t want to waste any more time! You can bring me home now!"


	29. The wait

The wait…

Edward:

_How much I hated this day! Isn´t it stupid to hate a special date? I hated the 8__th__ May, that´s a fact, stupid or not._

_I missed Jacob; I wanted to kiss him like we did seven years ago._

Alice went on a shopping tour with Seth two days ago and they were still not back at home, so I haven´t even him to distract me. Well I guess that´s why Alice wanted him to accompany her, she knew it wouldn´t be good if he stayed with me. _Maybe because I didn´t need distraction I needed Jake back!_

In wise foresight she left Jasper with me to calm me down before I would break down our furnishings – again. He was sending calming waves of emotion all the time but I was still suffering.

The day turned into night and I sat on the floor of my bedroom and patted my snuggle wolf. I have to be stronger I told myself _What would Jake say if he would see me like that?_

"I would say: You should rather cuddle with a real wolf!" a familiar voice behind me said.

I was on my feet and in his arms in an instant. I breathed "Jake, you´re home!" and we kissed each other like I had wished earlier that day.

Many things have changed through the years but whatever has happened in that time meant nothing now. Our love was as strong as ever plus we have to make up what we have missed during the long time we were separated.

We´ve spent the next days in bed – of course we had sex but for the mean part we talked a lot.

I felt the need to admit what I have done with Seth, even at the risk of losing him, I simply couldn´t lie to him. He didn´t react like I have supposed he will, he didn´t even stop to stroke over my back. I wanted him to get angry, to grumble with me or to give me a slap – just something that would show me that he cared.

Suddenly he raised his head and looked at me, "You had any right to do that. I wanted you to be happy and if Seth helped you to keep on going I have to thank him for loving you. Also I hope you still love me more!" he said with a tiny sad smile on his face. "Besides if you would like to hear my confession you´ll see what you have done mean nothing, I´ve done much worst."

He told me everything about Alec and about the people he had killed while feeding on them. I got furious, I didn´t care that he had drunken human blood – I´ve also done it when I was younger _– but no one should touch my wolf! No one! Never! He is mine! Only I should hold him, kiss him and make love with him! _

"How could you do that to me Jake?" I asked still fuming.

I know it wasn´t fair to react like that because we both did the same but I just felt so heartbroken when I imagined him with another man.

Jacob answered apologetic "I felt so alone and he was there for me when I couldn´t stay the loneliness. When he touched me it felt like ice on my skin and when I closed my eyes I could imagine it would be you. I´m sorry Ed, terrible sorry!"

I felt bad now_; he had forgiven me the moment I´ve told him that I´ve cheated on him. Now that he has confesses his sins I should also forgive him. We were even._

_I know my heart belonged to him and that I will ever love him. __Regardless of__what__has happened__in Italy__, __now__he__was__back__with me and__he__would__remain with me as long I wanted him – and that´s forever._

After a few days Jake wanted to visit his dad in LaPush and naturaly I accompanied him, I wanted to see Billy's face when his son finally came home to him. When we arrived at Jacobs former home, Sam – now one of the tribe eldest – chatted with Billy and both of them looked at us perplexed when we entered the house. _So Seth hadn´t told them – good boy. After all I hope we´ll manage to stay friends _

Billy found his voice again at first but it broke when he started to speak "My son" Jake flight in his father's arms and almost skipped Billy's wheelchair. A single rolled over the old man's cheek when he held his son in a tight embrace. Sam only clapped on Jakes shoulders ones and left with the words "I´ll be right back!"

Even if Billy liked me, since we had spent so much time together in Jakes absence I considered they will need some private time so I stepped out and sat down in the garden.

When Sam came back a short time later he wasn´t alone any longer, he grinned "I thought we should welcome the lost son in the right way!" Now I recognized that the visitors brought meat, drinks, other food and all what is needed for a nice BBQ with them.

"Jake, move your ass and say hello to your old friends" Sam shouted. Jacob wheeled his father on the veranda and his pack brothers argued who should get the first hug.

It was a great day. Sam proudly introduced his daughters Leah _– after her godmother which left the pack a time ago to join the girls-pack in Oregon_ – and Emily – _after her mother, what else._

Paul also a proud father had named his son Jacob-Joshua, my Jake raised an eyebrow when he heard the name and Bella explained "Without you, he wouldn´t exist, so it´s only fair to give him your name."

Jacob smiled the whole time but as he watched all the happy couples with their kids for a while, he lost the sparkle in his eyes. He was still able to lock me out of his mind so I winced and was irritated when he jumped up out of the blue and raced into his former room.

He came back only five minutes later, his expression serious. He took my hand and asked "May I talk to you for a moment?" _Has he realized that he missed his other live in Italy? Would he leave me again? Was it because of my affair with Seth? What the hell was wrong?_ I racked my brain while I followed him to the garage where he had spent so much time when he was younger.

He opened the door; everything looked exactly like he never has left this place. I stared at him questioning "What is it Jake?" I prepared myself for the worst I could imagine but I calmed a bit down when he began to speak.

"I know it has been a long time we were separated but my love for you is now even stronger than ever. I also know this isn´t the perfect place for what I want to do but I hope you don´t care about that."

He kneeled down and took my hands in his before he continued "Edward Cullen, I love you now and forever, I never want to be without you again so I´ll ask you: Will you take me to your husband?"

I was speechless, I was more than happy, I pulled him up from the ground kissed him and finally answered "Yes, I will!" I kissed him again.

The smile he gave me was gorgeous "Well, then I have something you´ll need" he took a little red box out off his pocket, opened it and showed me what was in it. He took one of the silver rings and put it on my left ring finger.

I wondered where he got them, he blushed and explained "I bought them after I dreamed about marrying you for the first time, I hope you like it!"

"It´s perfect, just like you!" I replied and kissed him once more


	30. is worth it!

…is worth it

Jacobs POV:

I was so happy and cheerful, I couldn´t describe my feelings. I was selfish, I wouldn´t tell anyone that he will be mine so I asked him "I want to keep it secret Ed, if only for tonight. I want to be your secret finance` at least till Alice get to know it. Are you okay with that?"

Edward replied nothing, he only kissed me again and again – I took it as a yes.

We went back to my welcome party and took our seats on the table between my Dad – on my side – and Emily – besides my fiancé. Even if I was used to hide my feelings und normal circumstances, I had no chance to suppress how joyful I was right then.

I recognized that my friends watched us curious; every now and then they threw secret sideway glances to us and whispered with each other. Finally when Ed handed Emily a basket of bread she eyed the ring on his finger, glanced at us and reached for my left hand. Since it was senseless to keep my mouth shut any longer it burst out of me. "We´re getting married!" Ed squeezed my hand when all heads turned to us – okay, no more secret fiancés, now that everyone knows.

We earned a lot of embraces and smiles and good advices from our friends, even Seth came to congratulate and when he hugged me he looked guilty, he knew that Ed has told me everything what happened between them so he whispered in my ear "Could you ever forgive me?" I wanted to say no but I was too happy tease him and answered "You´ve made him pleased when I couldn´t be there for him, so you´re forgiven. But Seth took my advice, don´t dare to touch my man ever again, you´ll regret it bitterly!" Seth shrugged under my words but I meant what I have said and I was damned sure he knew that.

It didn´t take long until Alice ant rest of the family joined us and when she asked if she could be the wedding planner we agreed – mindless as we were.

The date was fixed; the first of July should be the big day. That means enough time to invite my friends from all over the world and for Alice more time to organize the most beautiful wedding ceremony that you can imagine – her words not mine, because we aren´t involved in the planning.

On the other side we´ve chosen the date because it wouldn´t be too long to wait for our great day – since we were separated long enough.

Alice wanted to organize a really big event, from our wedding should be told for years later. She wanted a perfect celebration, with all what belongs to it - flowers, candles, music, a huge variety of food and drinks; she even put down a dress code.

Even if Edward thought she was exaggerating, and he would prefer to celebrate on a smaller scale - perhaps only with our families. I must admit, I loved her ideas; I wanted to give this perfect man my vow in a perfect ceremony.

As said, after we have given her a free hand with the whole organization we had nothing to decide any longer – not where or how the ceremony should be, not what we wanted to wear, simply nothing. No, that´s not true, she gave both of us three tasks.

First: Write a guest list – which wasn´t so easy because I wanted to invite some of the shape-shifters I knew from my journeys and I had no plan how to send a invitation to a place where no postman ever comes to.

Second: Write a great wedding-vow – I guess I started writing about hundred times and none of my tries were perfect enough so I spent much time alone on the cliffs to think about it and in the end I was satisfied with it.

And the third order she gave us was: "Get out of my way"

She was busy for days to redesign the garden so that both rows of white chairs for the ceremony, as well as plenty of tables and chairs for the celebration and the dinner afterwards got the right place. I did not have the slightest idea how much she has spent only for the flower decoration indeed, I could not even find out what flowers she had chosen.

Somehow it felt strange to get at my own wedding nothing to say. But at least we had in this way more time for more important things, such as cuddling together in the sun, to go for a walk on the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset, to visit our friends or to make plans for our future.

Unfortunately it also meant more time to even worry about. What if he changes his mind? Perhaps the hype Alice is held, is too much for him? Perhaps my request was too hasty and I've caught him by surprise, maybe he regrets it already. And why the hell was it so hard for me to write this damn marriage vows? Maybe I was the one who was not yet ready!

No, I really did not doubt the decision to get married and I was also sure that Ed is looking forward to it as much as I do. I had no experience in such matters, but in a book on bridal couples - not that I would buy something like that, I just read a bit in it when I saw it lying there in a bookstore by chance - was that many people just before their wedding be haunted by doubts.

After several days Alice had been with Edward in different shops to find the perfect suit for him now it was my turn to be clothed in new. She dragged me from shop to shop and let me try numerous clothes that seemed until the different colors all pretty equal. I rather favored darker colors, a dark purple or classic black, perhaps - but I fear my future sister-in-law has otherwise provided for me.

Because she had created a complete color scheme for the festivities - which we of course could know nothing more precise - had logically to be tailored to our tuxedos. So Ed and I wouldn´t know until the wedding day, what we would wear. As if it was not enough that we could not see each other in our suits, she had us even banned to spend the last night as bachelors in the same house - Alice had decided to keep it in its entirety to the old tradition. So I was unceremoniously banished to LaPush while Ed was allowed to stay in our room.

Since the house was anyway crowded with the guests who had arrived just one day before, it was perhaps not so bad to escape a little from the hustle and bustle. A few hours rest before the long day would surely not hurt me.

Well, although I would like to have been with him that night, I barely had time to miss him or think about the next day. My pack brothers were adopted on an appropriate bachelor party and Jasper and Emmett had planned a small celebration for Edward too.

I had wondered really long who I would have liked as best man at my side. The decision was not easy for me. Sam had always been a good advisor. Paul had made it easier for Ed to move away from Bella. Embry and Quill had always been loyal friends. And then there was Seth. He was always special for me, I loved him like a brother, and I had confided my life to him. But he was also the lover of my fiancé and has been for years.

Long story short, I opted for Seth, I could finally understand why he had felt most attracted to Edward, and I forgave them both.

We celebrated on the beach. A fire of driftwood was lit; we sat in a circle, drank beer and had hot dogs and marshmallows we roasted in the fire. It was a peaceful gathering and that was a good thing. I would have freaked me they had tried to pull into a strip club as you see in movies.

Some would call it the last night as a free man, but I would say: Oh, no still a whole night before I finally become Mr. Jacob Cullen-Black.


	31. The wedding

**The wedding**

Jacob:

I woke up before sunrise and wondered how I managed to fall asleep at all, regardless, now I was certainly wide awake and couldn´t wait to finally stand with my vampire in front of the altar.

I listened, apparently I was the only one in the house who was already awake because the only noises I heard were the birds which just started to sing and the snoring of my friends who were sleeping in the living room.

As quiet as possible, I got up and climbed out the window to do not wake the others accidentally. I changed into my wolf form and raced to the cliff where I had spent so much time in the last few weeks, I wanted to practice my vow for one last time. I had written it myself, I knew every word by heart, but I was so nervous that I was afraid I might forget the text from sheer excitement.

I repeated the complete text five times without come to a halt which calmed my nerves so far that I could slowly make my way back. When I arrived at the house the smell of coffee and pancakes welcomed me, Emily came over to make breakfast for us. She was my salvation, my stomach growled pathetic and who knows when I would next get to eat something. I heard the guys woke up and hurried indoors to sit at the breakfast table before them.

Emily smiled brightly when she saw me come in and put a big plate of pancakes on the table, "So, today is your big day, I hope you're not too excited to eat something we have more than enough time until we have to go. Alice asked Sam to bring you there at two o´clock and even then you got hours until the ceremony will start. Why do you have planned to stay the whole afternoon in a room if out sides your guests have fun?"

She looked at me questioningly but I just shrugged my shoulders; considerately she just asked "Alice?" "Alice", I agreed and both of us started laughing.

Emily was right, as long as I was at home with my pack and my dad the time flew by. But once Sam had me delivered to Alice, who immediately dragged me into her room, time seemed to stand still.

"You will not leave this room until I'm telling you; I do not want you to accidentally come across Edward. The few hours until the wedding, you can now wait." As she continued she grinned, "And besides, we must still make yourself ready, you will definitely look pretty when you walk down the aisle!"

Yes, you heard right, I'll walk down the aisle. Alice was absolutely clear that we would keep us here on the convention - even though we were not a traditional wedding couple - and I had agreed. _More or__less willingly__!_

From the window I watched when more and more guests arrived. _As__much as I would__now__be__out there__and__call__my__ friends a __hearty welcome_. Aro had as the only existed to welcome me immediately after his arrival; he hugged me and wished me luck for my married life. Alec had not come, he was afraid to meet Ed. _And__when__I__thought about__his__response to__my confession__, it __was__probably__actually__better that way__even if__I__would have__liked to have__him__here_.

Shortly after Aro had gone to mingle with other guests, Alice came back with a garment bag. "You´ll look so adorable!" With these words she opened the envelope and I froze. Enraged, I glared at her. "Alice, I told you that I will never wear white!" I shouted.

She nodded and replied with innocence mine "You do not you fool, that's not white, this color is called cream," Well, _that´s__what__one__ get __who__left__all the decisions__to__Alice_, now I'm just in a white - okay cream - tuxedo to get married even if I had not expected so.

I must confess, when I was dressed I was very surprised how comfortable I felt in my wedding suit. Although the color did not meet my request, but at least the shirt was the dark purple tone I´d like so much.

And then, finally it was time. The guests were seated. Alice escorted me in the garden, quickly kissed me on the cheek and scurried to her seat in the front row. I barely had time to view the flower arrangements – also in cream and purple - the lights or whatever else she had conjured up yet. Everything for which I now had eyes was Edward.

I stood at the beginning of an endless seeming alley which was lined on both sides by rows of white chairs on which all the people sat that I loved, or at least liked. And at the other end of the corridor was Edward - he wore a purple suit and a cream-colored shirt and he looked divine in it.

I swallowed hard; my heart was pounding as if it would explode at any moment, my pulse fluttered. I had forgotten how I could move my feet. Now I regretted bitterly that I had refused to let me accompany to the altar by my best man.

That was the only topic for which I was too stubborn to agree. Finally, I am not a bride but a groom. Well, I was the one who would walk through the alley and I was dressed in white - yes I already know, cream - but that doesn´t mean that I was the bride. _And men doesn´t need to be guided on this way!_

_I can´t do this! I´m not ready! I don´t deserve this man!_

I felt panic rising in me, I wanted to flee. At the very moment when I wanted to turn around to run away our eyes met, and as if by magic, all doubts vanished. The music started and suddenly I had to restrain myself in order not to run the last few meters. Edward took my hand and kissed me lightly on the lips.

I was too absorbed in Edward's sight, that I paid no attention to the man standing in front of us to marry us. His babbling was not very interesting anyway, but then came the important part of the ceremony.

Edward started to speak:

"A long time ago I met a wonderful girl" some sideway glares to Bella – while I was still focused on his face "and I thought she is the one for me. But then I met you and she was forgotten because I knew, you are what I have missed all my life. I know our relationship was complicated and I´ve done more mistakes then I could count so I thank god that you were able to forgive me. When you were gone I felt incomplete since you took my heart with you. I longed for the moment you´ll be back in my arms and if it would be only for a day. Now I know a day won´t be enough, even years won´t be enough, I want to be with you for eternity.

I Edward Cullen take you Jacob Black to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not know yet. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

Let this ring be a symbol of my promises to you and for my never-ending love."

With these words he put his ring on my finger, raised my hand and kissed it. Now it was my turn to recite my vows, I took a deep breath and began:

"You know I believe in fate, even if I have often doubted on it. I have found you, the man whom I love, my soul mate. We have hard times behind us, we have passed the test imposed on us and our love has only gotten stronger. You mean everything to me and I will be with you as long as we both will exist.

Edward I promise to love you and care for you and I will try in every way to be worthy your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you.

I give you this ring as a symbol on my love. As I place it on your finger, I give you all that I am and ever hope to be."

I shoved the ring on his finger and finally the words were said on which I had been waiting for such a long time.

"You may now kiss your husband!"


	32. Just a question

Just a question

First I want to say thank you for reading my first story. I hope you´ve enjoyed it. Also special thanks to everyone who sends me reviews – you were great.

And now my question:

I guess the wedding would be the perfect end of the story but actually it isn´t the end.

There is one last chapter left, I´ve already written it but it would change everything.

I was so angry when I tried to find the right words for the damned vows, I needed many tries until I was content with them. Well, I was really furious when things didn´t work like I wanted and so I wrote a sad, dramatic chapter – just to warn you.

I don´t know if you want to read it, so please tell me if I should publish the missing chapter or not.

Greetings

Kitty

_If yes, it will take some time till the update because I will be in Scotland for the next week – without internet_


	33. The gruesom reality

Here it is – I´ve warned you

**The gruesome****reality**

**Jacobs POV:**

I woke up in the cold, dark dungeon in which Caius had locked me long ago, the collar of iron, which prevented me to change into my wolf-form, tightened my throat. The chains that tied me to the wall had left deep scars on my wrists. I wanted nothing more than to escape this hell, I wanted to cling to my dream and never be awakened from but the wonderful illusions disappeared. I wanted desperately to fall asleep again, back again to escape into the fantasy world that my mind had created.

The sound of a key, which is turned slowly in the lock, finally brought me back to reality.

_Caius was back!_

Even as he opened the door I saw the whip in his right hand. His visit would be painful - very painful. I was scared! I tried desperately not to show how intimidated I was by now. The wolf girl who was chained to the opposite side of the cell - to shield Alice visions - trembled as Caius´ look brushed her. _He__had__no interest in__her; she__was just a__means to an end__._

He closed the door behind him and came slowly towards me as always he had this eerie, treacherous smile on his face and I knew what he would ask. _I__did not need any__extraordinary skills__to do so because__it__was__every time__the same question_, "Do you agree?"

I barely had the strength to oppose his will, but somehow I managed to spit it out and croak, "I never will, you blood-sucking son of a bitch." The whip hissed and tore my now scarred skin again. And not for the first time I thought: _Why__didn`t I react__more quickly__? __Why could I__not once__have__happiness__in my__life__?_

If I had been faster that day in the great hall, I could have stopped Caius in time, but I was just too slow. I just wanted to warn Aro when I found myself suddenly on the ground whimpering and writhing under Jane's gift. At the same time, a group of vampires - which I had never seen before - storm the room, attacked Aro and shredded him before all eyes into pieces.

After the murder of his brother Caius killed many of Aro's protégés. Alec owed his life solely to the entreaties of his sister but now he was monitored all the time, and I was spared from a very specific reason, although I think it would be better he would have done it immediately. _Then I__would__not__always__ have to __bear__this torture__. _Another strike of the whip cut deep lines into my skin.

He had locked me up; he delighted to torment me because he wanted to break me, and so to make his slave out of me. He had already destroyed many of the shape-shifter who had allied itself with Aro on my persuasion. Now their confidence in us was the cause that they were doomed. Caius´ Vampires approached to them as friends and if they were welcomed they beat them and wiped out entire packs.

My family will be safe as long as I remain strong enough to resist. Caius was a sadist, he delighted in the suffering of others and he wanted that I should be the one who leads the vampires that would destroy my pack. _I __and__no one else__should__do the job_. Regularly he offered me my freedom – _which kind of freedom could that be?_ - when I would swear obedience to him, if I would act according to his will. My only way out of this dungeon should be the betrayal on my family.  
_I__have to__be strong__! __I must not__let him__defeat__me__!_

_I__could__not__give up_. I had to persevere, because only than my pack was in safety, only than my Edward was safe! I had to be strong for them and to survive as long as possible. I knew that I would die here and in a strange way, my destiny seemed to be fulfilled. My imprint would probably end up like it had begun years ago. With unspeakable pain and dreams of the man I loved.

In weak moments I wish I had died back then in the clearing at least he would have been with me in my last hour. But at other times I was grateful for the short time we have spent together and which I would trade for nothing in the world.

I did not give Caius the satisfaction of collapsing under his blows, but once he had left the cell my strength left me and I fell into a deep swoon. _The__pain__would__disappear__and I__would__return to the__world of my__dreams__. _

_Oh__, __could__ I__ at least see__him__once more__._

**Edwards POV:**

I have waited for years that my Jacob would come back to me but someday – even if only subconscious at first – I realized that he; imprinted or not has left me forever. Suddenly I knew he´ll never come back.

For a long time I have missed him but eventually the desire for him became weaker, even though I still thought of him. Perhaps the time we spent together has been too short to feed upon the memories of it much longer, they faded slowly anyway.

I have accepted his decision and started to life without him. Eventually I realized that I no longer thought of Jake every day, _sometimes a whole __week passed__without me having__really__missed him__._

Over the years my relationship with Seth was getting closer, we spent most of our time together. We kept our affair secret and in public we always behaved like normal friends would do. I tried to persuade myself: "He is only a friend. It's just sex, not more!" _But__I__knew__that I__just__lied to__myself__._

On his twenty-third birthday when we were gathered together with his pack-brothers in Sam's kitchen, I waited anxiously how he would react to my gift. As he unwrapped the small package carefully - it was the key to an old VW bus from which he had raved about to me for month - he did something completely unexpected.

Instead of immediately racing out to make a test drive in his new car - as I had expected - he stood there frozen, staring at me with an inexplicable look. I had long been working to not listen to his thoughts, because he could not stand it when I rummaged in his mind, so now I had to wait until he would begin to talk about himself.

When he after a minute still made no effort to say something to me and still looked so strange, I finally asked apologetically, "You find my gift over the top, right?" The other guys were at least all agree that a car as a birthday-gift was far too much. He shook his head, his eyes softened and he gave me a beaming smile.

"I love it, it's perfect. Thank you!"

I grinned in disbelief, "Seth, you still have it not even viewed, how do you want to know whether you like it?"

He crossed the room and plopped down on my lap. In a low voice he said, "I know it because it's from you!"

All eyes were on us as he kissed me passionately, deeply looked into my eyes and finally said "Ed, I really love you!" Well, he told me frequently that he loves me, when we were together in bed after a passionate night, but two things were different than usual on that day.

First of all – until now he had said things like this only when we were alone with no one hearing the whispered declarations of love, and speak these words in front of his brothers was something quite different.

And second – for the first time I replied "I love you too, Seth!"

Since everyone knew about it anyway, that we were more than just friends, we decided to make the thing official. Shortly after this we moved together in a small house which stood about halfway between LaPush and the house of my family. We were happy.

Of course we still thought of Jacob, how we should forget the man whom we both had once loved but also we had learned to live without him. Seth and I had found love and happiness and we hoped that it was given him as much as to us.

He gave up everything to protect us, he had helped to make peace between vampires and shape-shifters and most of all he had brought us together. He deserved to be happy wherever he was now and whatever he was doing.

_Oh__, __if__we had__only known the truth__!_

THE END

I hope you had fun reading this story and I hope you´ll read the next as well

(I work on something, the idea is there but until now it´s not written)

Thanks for all of your reviews! Mizuki 8D, ArekWithlock, sibaruneko, daLeah, Satary and bbutterfly689 – you are great!


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